Looks like I'm a once a monther...

I just wanted to say hi... and I missed you guys, it's been almost a month again. I haven't forgotten you... just caught up in other things.

J and I have been living together for almost 2 months and things are going great... I couldn't be happier.

G will be here in about a month and a half and I can't wait to see her! It's been a whole year almost.

I think I'm going to drag her wedding dress shopping during her visit. :-)

Yep, wedding dress shopping.

Here's what I am envisioning...

*sigh* soooo pretty!


On a completely different note, I'm a little bit torn because my good friend M.... remember her? Part of the 'Angel's'... well she has fallen off the face of the planet. She's never been good at keeping in touch, but there was a point in time when she would at least respond to an email. Now.... nothing. At first I was concerned... maybe something is going one. They just got married, maybe that are trying for kids, or maybe there is stress at work... I dunno. But regardless, she hasn't responded to one email. Her wife responds, but she doesn't. Did I do something? I just thought we were closer than that. What do you do in this situation?? I'm sure I'll see her when G is in town over the holidays, but do I even say anything?? Let me know your thoughts.

See you in about a month... hopefully I can make it sooner. :-)

xoxo,

Bff forever and ever...

I had to share this... a FB note from G...made me smile today.

"remember when you threw a chair at me because I wanted to fight and you wanted to walk away? Or when we got in an argument over adding a champagne bottle sticker to a baby book? Or when you bought me a pack of huge granny panties after my surgery? Or when my devil cat chewed a whole in your sweater? Or when you allowed me to be a "tomboy" for a few months as you did my girlfriends eye makeup? Or when we had a dance party in pumps and fishnets for my birthday because it was a snow storm? Or when you fell off the toilet in the pool bathroom at your 25th- wait you wouldn't remember that! or when I tried to get E to sleep with us? (hold up , was that you?) :) I miss youuuuuu. I can't wait to see you."

She'll be here in 2 months... can't wait to see here. Nothing like a best friend.


xoxo,
 

Another year older, another year wiser?

Happy 29th birthday to me!

I’m going to have to change my name soon, “Getting Close to 30” will need to be “Getting really, really close to 30”... lol

It wound up being an amazing birthday… but it started out a little rocky.

J and I were the first ones at my roof top party and we sat and sat waiting for people to show up for a good hour before anyone got there. I felt like Carrie in the season 4 opener, “The Agony and the ‘Ex’-tasy” where Carrie is sits at the restaurant alone on her 35th birthday waiting for her friends that never show up.

“The longer I sat a that table the more alone I felt and it really hit me, I’m 35 and alone”

It was depressing and made me feel like I don’t have any friends. Which is ridiculous and of course it is different because I was with my soulmate, so I wasn’t alone… but it still hurt that no one was there. I was really, really upset… like tears upset. Part of me was angry at J… I guess I wanted to blame her for not making sure people were there ahead of time, but the reality is it’s not her fault people were 2-3 hours late. Part of me wonders if I made the mistake of alienating myself in this relationship. Have I shunned my friends? Is that why they weren’t there? Am I a bad friend?

So maybe I’ll try to reach out a little more because I don’t wanna be that girl….you know the girl that is only friends with her partner and her friends. I honestly don't think I am that girl now... but just to be certain, it may be time to schedule a girls night.

Someone said to me (when I was furiously texting on the roof top complaining) that I should be happy because I have what most people want… a diamond ring and a woman that loves me. :-) Very True.

Anyways… the birthday celebration did get better, I got some very, very delicious cupcakes and J got me tickets to see Rihanna for her LOUD tour…. Yaaaaay!! :-)

The days following I sizzled in the sun with friends, drank entirely too much liquor and spent 13 hours glued in front of the television. Yes, I said 13 hours. In the end everything turned out great.

So another birthday has come and gone and I am excited about where 29 will take me.

xoxo,

I’m not an Army brat anymore…

One thing I remember vividly from my childhood is saying goodbye to friends. It was just one of the ‘perks’ of being an Army kid. Every 2 to 3 years, my best friend was pcsing and saying goodbye. I can remember back to my 1st best friend… Jenn, I think I was 6 or 7 and I remember crying so hard when she left. You would think I’d get used to it and toughen up, but it never got any easier.

Fast forward to age 28… I’ve been living in the states for 12 years and I haven’t really had to say goodbye to a best friend since then. Well, until last week.

G left for the Peace Corps 6 days ago. I can’t even begin to explain the clusterfuck of emotions… I’m sooooooo very proud of her, I miss her, I’m nervous and anxious with her, I’m excited for her… but mostly I just miss having my bff near by. She is an amazing woman and most people don’t have the balls to do what she is doing, so I’m grateful that she gets to have this experience… she will be forever changed for it.

We did get to spend her last night here together… although we spent 99% of the time packing, cleaning, panicking, packing, packing and packing. Lol…. And I got to take her to the airport… although that may have been a mistake especially since I only got 45 minutes of sleep and she got none. Sleepiness seems to heighten emotions; because we were both a mess, tears, hugs and more tears… it was so hard to leave her at the airport. I guess I’m kind of a mother hen after all.

I’m not saying goodbye though… it’s just “See you later”… and she will absolutely be seeing me in the Caribbean… I don’t need much of an excuse to go to the beach!

Love you G! :-)

xoxo,
 

What are you afraid of?

I’m not really an anxious person…spontaneity and chance suits me, but I’m a little bit overwhelmed by some of the changes coming over the next couple of months.

First… G is going to be leaving for the Peace Corps… and I’m gonna miss her. I’m gonna miss her a lot. We don’t hang out and talk as much as we used to before I started dating J… but I’m really, really gonna miss her. In an odd way she is like a security blanket for me… yes we get on each others nerves from time to time, but she is like my sister and there is a comfort in knowing that she is always there. She knows me…I don’t always have to say what I’m thinking or feeling for her to get it and there aren’t many other people in my life that can do that. I’m so proud of her and I know that this experience is going to open a whole new world for her, but that doesn’t make me any less sad.

I think we sometimes take friendship for granted. Sometimes we are selfish. I don’t know if this is something that comes with age, or time, but we sometimes get so consumed with our own lives and romantic relationships that we forget to really nurture some of our most important relationships.

She doesn’t know when she is leaving or even where she is going yet, but knowing that time is looming over us makes it a little more real. It makes me realized that new chapter is on the horizon for us both.


Second thing… I have to move. Again.

Ugh.

The thought of moving again makes me violently ill… the packing, the cleaning, the sorting, the hauling, and the shit everywhere for weeks… such a pain in the ass.

It’s not just the moving part that is making me anxious; it’s the living alone and the paying all the bills alone that is overwhelming.

I have never lived alone. Ever.

On one hand I’m really excited. The thought of having my own space to do whatever I please is pretty thrilling. At the same time, I think it will probably get old and I’ll get a little lonely. In reality I won’t be ‘alone’ all that often… I’ll be bouncing between my house and J’s house… and she’ll do the same… but still, I’m 28 years old and I am finally gonna live alone.

The really big scary thing is paying all the bills alone. My rent is going to go up $250 a month and I won’t have anyone to split the utilities with. Of course I did my budget and everything fits… but there isn’t much money left over at the end of the month… and I’ll only be paying the minimum on my loan. I will still have my $200 per month direct deposited into my savings account, but it would probably be smarter to put at least half of that towards paying off the loan. I always have my yearly bonuses to look forward to as well… so I’m hoping I can have the loan paid off in about 2 years.

Part of me just wants to skip the whole living alone thing and move in with J. Splitting her rent and her utilities would allow me to save even more than I am saving in my current apartment… and it would help her out a lot too, especially because she doesn’t have any income coming in at the moment. I’m just afraid that it would be a detriment to our relationship. I know that I’m gonna spend my life with her, but moving in together is a big deal and I want it to be for the right reason… not just to save money. It is pretty tempting though.

So that idea is out.

The other option is to move back out of the city and save maybe $100-$150 on rent.

Hell no.

That idea is out too.

So maybe it’s not the most finically responsible thing to max out my budget to live in a great little apartment in the city, but my sanity and my happiness play a role in this decision too.

As overwhelming as it is, I am happy with my decision and I think it is the right choice.
The anticipation of change has got me on the edge of my seat…. But I know I everything will work out fine. It always does.

What are you afraid of?

So in love…

She never stops taking my breath away.

J and I spent the weekend attached at the hip again. :-) But get this…. I went home last night…. ALONE. Wow. What a concept?! Lol

Picking up from my last post:

Friday after work I went and hung out with G and her family like I had planned. I met some of her extended family, ate pizza and talked. It was really nice just hanging out with her… even though it was brief.

That night, J went to the club and I stayed home… I just wasn’t in the mood. I was moody and pmsing and just tired of going…. So I stayed home. It wasn’t so bad. I got a good night sleep and got up and went to work on Saturday without feeling like a zombie.

Saturday night was date night… I hadn’t seen J in 2 days, so I wanted to get really cute. I straightened my hair, spent time on my makeup, and even wrangled myself into a corset so that I could wear this really cute one shoulder little black dress.

I was late meeting her, but when she saw me she stopped in her tracks and dropped her jaw.

SN: I love the way she looks at me… I love that she thinks I’m beautiful and I love that she tells me all the time. :-)

Needless to say, Date night was great. We talked, laughed, danced and cuddled the night away.

We spent all day Sunday and Monday together too. We rented movies and finished listening to Breaking Dawn, and we went to go see The Kids are Alright (which by the way is an AWESOME movie… go see it asap!)


After being inseparable for 3 days I went home like a mature adult on Monday night and slept in my bed alone… and got up on time for work without being exhausted because of trying to hangout all night with my girlfriend. Go Me!


After I was settled in my bed (alone!) and we had said our goodnights on the phone this is the text message that I got from her:

“I had a great time with you this weekend. I fall more and more in love with u everday… u bring such joy to my life… love u baby…gnite.”

*Sigh*

So in Love. :-)

Waking up on the wrong side of the bed…

I hate it when I’m in a mood… seems like for no apparent reason, but if I listen long enough I usually figure it out.

So… J and I have been inseparable for the last month or so and yesterday was the first night we sleep apart in a long time. The funny thing is that I have wanted some “me-time” and a break from the constant going and doing, but the moment I’m without her I miss her so I guess I have neglected my “me-time” just a little. With that said, yesterday, J took some “me-time”… I’m happy that she took some time to be in her own space and do her own thing but I’m kind of annoyed with myself because why does it feel like I wait for her to take “me-time” in order for me to get my own “me-time”?

We are definitely still in the honeymoon stage and very much in love… but I guess we are on the verge of suffocating each other. I don’t want to loose myself in this relationship… just like I know she doesn’t. How do I find a happy medium? And why do I “feel some sort of way” because she took some time away from me? I guess it kinda did hurt my feelings a little bit. It’s just so stupid and silly because even though I need time to be alone or with my friends too I don’t want her to wanna be away from me. I guess that’s just my ego at work.

It definitely doesn’t help that Aunt Flo is on her way, so I was extra emotional and teary eyed after getting off the phone with her last night. I guess I felt like there was a disconnect between us… conversation just felt weird… we talked about it, but I think we both weren’t sure why.

We still have a lot to learn about each other… it’s only been 3 months… sometimes I forget that it’s been only this short amount of time. We seem so connected all the time, but we have to find a balance. We were even off sexually a few days ago. She threw a party, trying to make extra income, and when we got home we were just off… I was drunk and she was annoyed and exhausted after planning and playing hostess and it was just bad.

I guess that happens sometimes.

I’m gonna hang out with my long lost bff G tonight (long lost because I’ve been lost in Love Land) and J and I have a date on Saturday night, so hopefully the friend time and the date night will put me/us back in my/our happy space.

There are so many other things going on right now. I really need to blog more. Our lease is up on September 21st, so that means I have to move… again. I’m dreading it. I just don’t wanna do it. The packing up of all the shit and the hauling of all the shit… oh and finding a place to live that I can afford.

I just want to be done with it already.

Wish me luck.

Until next time….

Randomness...

I know I haven’t written in a while…. I’m sorry. I guess I’ve kinda had writers block a little. I actually do have some things to talk about, but this is gonna just be a random post…. Randomly about Sex and the City. :-)

Sooooo…I’m at work putting my menu books together and watching old Sex and the City episodes online. (Yes, I am watching TV at work… so what?!) I’m watching the episode where Carrie meets Petrovsky for the first time at the art gallery.

They meet briefly and Carrie is kinda turned off by him… she makes a little joke about the art installation and he says:

“You are comedian, No?”

They don’t talk anymore at the gallery, but Petrovsky somehow tracks down her phone number and calls her. She hangs up on him twice thinking he’s got the wrong number and finally she’s like, “I can’t understand you, sir” –lol… and he says:

“This is Alexander Petrovsky for Carrie Bradshaw.”

Her reaction is soooooo funny because I have soooo done this before.

She goes- “Oh, hold on, let me get her for you”

Obviously no one else is there… she just feels like a douche and she has this look on her face, a look of pure embarrassment- you know the scrunched up face and slap to the forehead? After her little pause, she picks up the phone and pretends that her ‘sister’ answered the phone initially. I LOVE it… so very funny

This episode is also the episode where Charlotte finds out that she and Harry are pregnant. There is a scene where the girls are all sitting in the coffee shop and Charlotte tells them the good news and it made me soooooo think about my friends and the girls nights we used to have. Me, M, G and B. We would sit around and talk and giggle…. And I remember when we found out that B was preggers- it was totally the same scene.

I love those precious memories. No matter how far we come or how far apart we grow, we still have those memories and sometimes SATC triggers them and it puts a smile on my face for the rest of the day. :-)

Could this be Happiness…

I have the most amazing friends in the world. Seriously. They make me forget that I am ‘supposed’ to be sad. Despite everything, I actually feel happy.

I spent last weekend in LA with G and one of my bestest guy friends who recently moved out there, we’ll call him W. He is the sweetest, most caring, true gentleman and best host ever. I would totally want to marry him if I was straight! I have not had that much carefree, ‘let it all out’, ‘leave all your problems behind fun’ in a good minute. The whole weekend was bonding with G and W, partying and seeing LA. It sounds silly, but I felt really connected to them both. They mean the world to me!

The motto of the weekend…

“Wish we could party all night and sleep all day and throw all of our problems away. Life would be easy…. Life would be easy!” :)

G and I actually wound up getting matching tattoos while we were out there. You guys know how much I love her, she is the best friend ever, so the tattoo is a small symbol of the connection we will always have. :) It’s a nautical star with a heart over the top of it. The nautical star symbolizes finding your way or finding your own path in life and of course the heart symbolizes the love that we share as ‘heart-sisters’. We both got it on our left sides, since that is the side that your heart is on. :) Cheesy, I know… but no matter where we are will always be together. :)

Unfortunately, the weekend had to end and I had to come back to work. Boo.

The good news is G and I are moving into our new apartment this weekend. The bad news is we procrastinated on the packing, so now it is a mad dash to get everything done. It is still very bittersweet. Don’t get me wrong I am absolutely thrilled to be cutting off all ties with N and officially moving on with my life, but it is still a lot to digest. It’s really truly over. BUT…. This also means I can start inviting girls over to the house without worrying that N will be home! :) Not that I have them lined up or anything, because trust me I don’t… but at least I can once I get that far!

Despite everything, I feel like I am in a good place and continuously moving forward to a better one. I’m still a little confused by what the hell I am going to do with my life and what the future will bring, but what 20something isn’t from time to time? I know that I am strong and I know that I am resilient and I KNOW that no matter how hard or how far I fall, I always get back up a better person.

Happiness according to Wikipidea:

Happiness is a state of mind or feeling characterized by contentment, love, satisfaction, pleasure, or joy.

I think I may be happy. :)

Weight loss challenge day 4… and day 5…

Where to start… hmmm…

Well. First I’m feeling extremely bloated. This means that b***h Aunt Flo is on her way again. This is not good for the scale.

Oh, and I know today is Weigh-in Friday, but since the weight loss challenge goes through today, I am planning to weigh myself tomorrow morning.

My beloved Angel M….to make a long story short, I did this challenge by myself. She only logged her calories for 1 ½ days and only worked out twice this week. What can I say? I can only motivate her so much. Shit, I still have to find motivation for myself! I love her dearly and of course I support her 100%, but she’ll come around when she is ready. Health and weight loss is very personal, and everyone has to make the decision on there own to commit to it.

For those of you who are new to my blog, I am not one to hold my tongue. AT ALL.

However, I’ll take my bitch factor down just a little and not yell at her…. That wouldn’t help anyways! The truth is- I can’t even complement her on trying, because she didn’t try. I am by no means perfect, and I could have done better this week myself, so it’s not about that. It just a little disappointing because I know how strong she is and how easily she could have completed the challenge if she tried. But in reality, I have been there too and I know, it doesn’t matter what anyone says. So my plan is to back off a little, but encourage her to be healthy.

So anyways…

Today is the last day of the challenge!

I have a extra challenge ahead of me this evening. I am going to dinner and a movie with H.

Yikes!

Ok, it’s not that big of a deal… but lets be real, even when you make good food choices at a restaurant, you are still not 100% sure what goes in it to create the final product. I’m gonna take my chances! I’m hitting the gym before dinner, so that should definitely help.

Oh, guess what I’m going to see?? Julie and Julia! I’m so excited. I read the book a while back, so I am looking forward to it!

Have a wonderful weekend everyone!!

Operation sweat my hair out is now complete….

Yep, I went running on Saturday (ran a mile, walked 1½ miles). Then on Sunday I walked 2 miles (and got caught in torrential downpour and was soaked- further messing up my hair.)

This morning I got up a little early and did my 30 day shred DVD with Jillian Michaels. It is only a 20 minute workout- but it is pretty intense!

I wish I could report a fun and crazy weekend, but I spent most of the time fighting with my girlfriend. And I don’t really want to talk about, because I’m not sure what to say yet.

Oh wait- that’s a lie! I went to dinner with the Angels on Friday night- how could I forget! I got to se B and her little pregnant self. So freaking adorable! We chit-chatted for hours oohhing and ahhhhing over all the baby details (and of course mucho belly rubbing!).

That was the highlight of the weekend… it just went down from there.

I spent a lot of time blog surfing over the last few days, and I have found some very, very cool fashionistas blogging about everything from their careers to fashion and make-up to shoe collections and love and many other things. It kinda made me feel a little envious.

I’m absolutely in awe that there are real life Sex and the City characters that live their life like I’ve seen in movies. I’m talking bicoastal living, destination weddings, AMAZING collections of shoes, clothes, make-up and jewelry, one of a kind pets, restaurant hopping, car services… the whole nine.

The shoe wardrobes are what really got to me. We are talking hot, HOT designer shoes that I have never so much as even tried on.

These ladies really have it going on and it really makes me what to be there as well.

One day I want to be blogging about living in NYC in my awesome Chelsea apartment, with my fabulous shoe collection, amazing career, flawless body, perfectly manicured nails, loving girlfriend, amazing friends and family that visit all the time- and loving every second of it.

Until then, I’ll just have to blog about what I want…

Don’t get me wrong, I am very happy with my life- flaws and all (most of the time) but a girl can’t help but dream.

Just a few things that I lust over....

Anyways, I am going to try to not wallow in self-pity and have a productive day at work. I'll dream about Prada, Valentino and Christian Louboutin- OH MY. (yes I am chanting from the wizard of oz- so what!)

I’ll be heading to the gym tonight to take out some of my frustration.

Have a wonderful Monday everyone.

The last week and a half….

First my birthday…

I am freaking 27 years old!!

It’s so weird. I mean I know I’m an adult (and have been for a while) but I’m soooooo close to 30! I’m not afraid of 30 or anything. I just don’t feel ready for 30. It just seems so… official. Does that make any sense?

Seriously- I have 3 more years to go, so maybe I’ll grow up in that time??

Anyways…

The beach was amazing! I know I said that already, but it really was!


We drove down on Friday Morning. I drove C’s car with C and D and my Girlfriend drove her car with G and H.

*Completely random- but my girlfriend and I do not have the same taste in music AT ALL, so it’s best that we didn’t ride 4 hours together! I’m Frank Sinatra, and Beyonce and she is Shaba Ranks and “Ghetto sing-a-longs” (as I like to call them- you know what I am talking about)*

So anyways, we got down to the beach around noon and checked in and got the keys to our beach house. The house was literally right next to the beach. We had an awesome view of the ocean from the upstairs deck and an outdoor shower…. It was really cute!

Once K and R made it to the house we grabbed some food and then headed out to the beach. It was so freaking hot! So of course we had to bring the umbrellas for the black girls (sorry if I am offending anyone! It’s a bad joke that we have… I love being in the sun. My girlfriend, G and C insist on shade-lol. FYI- I absolutely wear sun block- 70spf on my face and 45spf on the rest of me every 2 hours!) You should have seen us trying to get those damn umbrellas up! You wouldn’t think it’s that complicated! By the end of the weekend we finally had it figured out… but wind still tried to flip it up a couple of time. Too funny!

Saturday was my birthday. G and I got up and went jogging on the beach. It was actually fun and I got a good workout in. I needed that workout too because H made me a chocolate cake and it was delicious! My friends are so cute they had everything setup when we got back from the beach that morning. My girlfriend got me an awesome Polar heart rate monitor that I have been looking at. C got me Jillian’s book “Master your Metabolism” (because she’s knows I’m a little obsessed with her right now!), G got me some gardening tools (which came in handy when setting up the beach umbrellas!!) a bracelet and some cute candles, H and K and R both got me Target gift cards. They are all so sweet.

It really was a good birthday!

**until G turned into a raging pmsing monster! (Love you G!) Seriously, I was pmsing too and didn’t know it- it was just a bad combination! **

I’m going to skip over the part were I got completely trashed (by accident) on champagne and cosmos and wind up puking and crying after a game of Phase 10. I don’t remember much of it anyways!

NEXT…

After my fabulous birthday weekend I had to hop on a plane to Texas for work. It was uneventful for the most part.

***Oh- expect for this one really discussing random thing. I found out that I am grossly allergic to pears. One of the dishes we had to prepare was this poached pear salad. We had a couple of pears that we didn’t need and I was starving so I cut a couple slices off and ate while I was working. I immediately started feeling weird and oddly nauseous . I’m thinking, “oh. Shit. I can’t be allergic to pears too!” Long story short, I didn’t make it to the bathroom, so I puke into a trashcan in the empty conference room. I know, I know. That is so gross and way too much information, but I had to share because it is so freaking weird!***

****I really need to work on my random sporadic thoughts!****

Anyways… back to Texas…

I did workout in the hotel while I was there. I did an hour of Cardio on 2 out of the 4 days I was there. But I didn’t write down anything that I was eating. Better than nothing I guess!

So that is what my last week and a half was like. Another year older… and already back to work. Boo.

My Mom got back from her vacation today, so I finally got to talk to her. I seriously have the best Mom ever. :-) I can’t wait to see them.

I do have some very important news to share, but I will have to share tomorrow, because I actually have to do some work now.

It involves the Big Brother/Big Sister program and Skydiving.

And no the 2 are not related, I think you have to be 18 to jump out of a perfectly fine plane. :-)

Another year older

I wanted to write sooner, but let's just say I was majorly hung over on Monday coming home from the beach... And well sleep was more important at that moment!



Apparently at 27 I still don't know how to handle alcohol. Good thing is I only blew chunks one night, the other 2 nights I was sober (for the most part).



Other than that little episode I really had a blast. We literally laid on the beach all day for 3 days. (I'm nice and bronzed!) And the house we rented was right beside the walk way to get to the beach... Seriously like a 1 minute walk.



It was AMAZING!



On a side note, G and I had our first "fight" too. Really it was more like we were both pmsing (and didn't know it) but it's all good now. :-)



I'm posting from my blackberry because I'm in Texas for work so I'll have to share more details about the trip later.



OMG! I got my match for the Big Brother/Sister program. It should be very interesting. I'll share more later about this too.



Time for me to get back to work!



Have a wonderful day!

Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Four days left…

I’m back on the wagon.

For real this time.

The last few days I haven’t been doing a well as I hoped. I haven’t worked out since last Thursday. I could have gone to the gym yesterday, but I pulled weeds and clipped the bushes and gave myself a manicure instead. That means I currently have 30 minutes banked towards my 5 hours of cardio this week… 4 ½ hours of cardio remaining to reach my goal.

I know.

That is the past, and I can’t do anything about it. But these next four days I still have control over, so tonight I am going to do a full hour of cardio and I’m going to do at least 20 minutes of weights. I am going hard and heavy on fruits, veggies, healthy grains and lots of water today.

I am keeping track on one goal though… this is my second post, so I have to blog at least 2 more times in the next 4 days and I will reach that goal. Now, I just need to start paying attention to the other 2 goals that I set!

I can do this.

I guess you can tell I had a good weekend.

The cookout was awesome, we had a great turnout. I put on my best Martha Stewart Hostess face and I had a blast. There was plenty of great food and, OMG… I forgot to tell you….

My girlfriend surprised me with a brand-new grill!

At first she was against the whole thing. She said, “I don’t want a whole bunch of people in my house.” Lol… whatever.

So Sunday morning she gets up early and says she has to run an errand. I get up after she leaves and go downstairs to start cleaning up. She gets home and we are standing in the kitchen and she starts opening the blinds facing the backyard and she is just chit chatting like nothing is up and I look up and there is a brand-new shiny charcoal grill sitting in the backyard. She is so freaking cute!

I most definitely have the best girlfriend ever!

So anyways… the cookout was awesome! Lots of friends came, we ate, we drank, and we played Taboo and Spades (boo, I hate spades)… and when everyone left there wasn’t that big of a mess!

This week is going to go by super fast because I have so much to do before we go.

AND

I am so excited and looking forward to this weekend!

One of my best friends from high school, I’ll call her N, is flying down on Thursday night to go with us to the beach. C and I haven’t seen her for 5 years! She is in the Air force and she has been stationed overseas for most of that time. I can’t wait to see her!! It brings back so many good memories. N and C and I were attached at the hip for most of junior and senior year of high school. I also think it’s cool because my girlfriend and G get to meet her… nothing like all my worlds colliding. H has already met her, back when we were in college. Two other friends are coming too, K and R…. they are another lesbian couple that came with us to the beach last year. They all mean so much to me, so it’s nice to have them all together!

I am sooooo ready for the beach; I am in need of some major relaxing beach time.

Until then, I am going to work hard at losing these last 7 pounds.

Wish me luck!

What a weekend!

I had so much fun this weekend; I don’t even know where to start!

C and I drove to another state 3 ½ hours away to go to a cookout with a bunch of friends from high school. The cookout was at A’s parents house. We grew up hanging out at their house so it was very fitting. There had to be at least 30-40 people there. I still can’t believe that it has been 10 years since we graduated from high school. The funny thing is we are all still very much the same.

There were 5 girls (including me and C) from Cotton Club. Yes we are almost 30 and we still claim our “gang”! It is pretty funny, I must admit- but it has kept us close all these years.

So the highlight of the weekend was our bright Idea to get “CC” (for cotton club) tattooed on our right hip.

Yep, we really got a tattoo.


Hahahaha… I’m still laughing about it!

We are officially stuck together forever…. And now there is proof!

Yesterday I spent my day lounging out by the pool. I love this weather… blue skies and the bright sun, nothing beats it.

G, my girlfriend and I are planning on having a cookout at our house this Sunday. Nothing fancy, just a bunch of friends coming over for some hamburgers and hotdogs. I’m looking forward to it!

I am going to be working out hardcore this week, I need to reach my birthday goal… and it is coming up quick!

Weigh-in Friday!

197.8

Not to shabby! I was a little nervous about weigh in yesterday, so I went to the gym after work, even though I got off late. I didn’t get home until almost 10pm… but I’m guessing burning those 700 calories helped (30 minutes elliptical, and 35 minutes on the treadmill power walk/run)! :-)

FYI- I am in much, much better spirits today. The last few days I have been overly bitter and angry for no apparent reason. Glad that is over!

Tomorrow morning C and I are driving to another state about 3 hours away for a semi-high school reunion. (I still can’t believe it has been 10 freakin’ years since we gradated high school!)Two of my best guy friends from high school recently got engaged, and one of them is returning to South Africa on Monday (He lives there- believe it or not he is a part of a missionary!), so it is kinda a celebration/see you soon/reconnect BBQ. I’m really looking forward to it!

Today is a busy day at work, so I have to cut it short. I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!

What a weekend!

Even though I had to work on Saturday AND Sunday I actually had a really good weekend.

I got to spend Saturday night all dressed up with my favorite gay boys (and my bff and girlfriend of course). Now that I think about it, I didn’t even mention them the other day when I did the whole run down of my friends.

So here is a quick summary…. RS is the center of my gay boy universe (well one side of it anyways). He is the cutest little El Salvadorian Queer you have ever seen! RS and I met when we worked together at Enterprise (make-you-wanna-slit-your-wrists) rent-a-car. Our friendship flourished when I finally came out to him 5 years ago. He is colorful and bubbly and the life of every party. He is totally my Carrie (Carrie from Sex and the City- DUUHH!) You never know what he is going to wear next, but he always pulls it off! RS is the center because has introduced me to all his friends and they have also become mine.

So the party Saturday was A’s (a friend I met through RS) 35th birthday party. When I say fabulous I mean… seriously fabulous! I’m talking velvet rope, red carpet and a hot chic at the door with a guest list! Nobody does a party like the gay boys.

G and I got all dressed up. (A asked in his Evite that the ladies wear dresses) I wore a black v-neck flowy dress with black strappy sandals with a big flower on them and a turquoise clutch. G wore a pretty fuchsia colored halter dress with nude open toe heels. My girlfriend was super cute (although, I couldn’t convince her to wear a dress- she’s not a dress kinda girl!) with white pants, nude cowboy boots and a turquoise Wrangler button down. (We totally matched with my turquoise clutch and her shirt- how gay, I know!)

You should have saw RS- so cute in his Banana Republic cream suit and bow-tie!

We drank, danced, mingled and chit-chatted all night. You would have been so proud of me… although I had 2 cranberry and vodkas and a glass of champagne, I did not touch any of the food or the chocolate cake with poured chocolate icing! And you know chocolate cake is my weakness!!

This is going to sound horrible, but there was this- well kind “thick” girl hovering over the food table for a good part of the evening. She was part of my motivation; I didn’t want to be her. Plus cranberry juice has a lot of calories and I ate before I left. I wasn’t hungry- go figure, who knew it was that simple.

I have to say the highlight of the night was watching the sloppy drunk, barefoot, heterosexual, older nurses and young Nordstrom shoe department girls strut down the staircase in front of a room full of beautiful gay boys claiming to be Pussycat Dolls and then proceed to grind on the Gay birthday boy and sing a drunken happy birthday. Priceless!

Ooohhh so much to talk about!

I’ve been wanting to write for days, but it’s just been one thing after the other.

First, I have to gush a little bit… because I seriously have the best girlfriend. This is going to sound silly, but it made my day. The other morning I woke up with my back facing her and she was holding me and she whispered she loved me in my ear. I mean, she tells me she loves me all the time, but what a wonderful way to wake up! :-) After 4 and ½ years, it is definitely the little things that get me! J

What else?

Oh! I got to see S my Bff/soul-sister yesterday. Her flight came in late so she missed her connection to where she was suppose to be going and she was stuck here for the night. I picked her up at like 10pm and she spent the night! It was short, but it is always good seeing her!

I guess it would help if I gave you a breakdown on who is who, because I have several bff’s that I refer to from time to time. So here goes…

S- My Bff/soul-sister that I mentioned above is exactly that- My soul-sister. We met freshman year of college and I was the Maid-of-honor in her wedding. We have a very similar background. We are both bi-racial and grew up (for the most part) in another country. I call her my soul-sister because we fight like sisters when we are together for too long (seriously we didn’t talk for a whole semester sophomore year because we got in a fight over a book!) But at the same time, I know she would do anything for me and I would do the same for her. She is uber- responsible and cautious and she is the best person to people-watch with!

G- My bff and roommate. We met at my first job out of college (Enterprise rent-a-piece of shit- sorry, I mean car). We are very different, but very similar at the same time. She is sensitive and self-determined and I am bossy and outgoing. We agree to disagree pretty often, but I love the conversations that we have because we can talk about controversial things and still be friends after. And she gets me! She knows that I get in my moods and she doesn’t hate me for it! ** Complete side story** (sorry I keep getting off subject, it’s the adult ADD-lol, not funny sorry!)The other day we were discussing my Birthday Beach trip (more details to come in a later post!) and G was thinking about leaving a day early because it seemed to be most convenient since there were so many of us and we only get 2 parking spots. Anyways- a little while after that conversation she sends me a message saying, “I know you aren’t sentimental like me, but are you sure you okay with me leaving early- It’s your birthday?” Clearly I was annoyed by the whole situation and my feelings were a little hurt, so it is funny that she thought to ask. This is one of the reasons why I love her, because she is the only person who would acknowledge that!

C- My Bff from high school that I mentioned the other day is a diva. I have known her since I was 10. I didn’t like her very much then, but by the time I turned 15 our friendship had blossomed. It is not very often that army brats get to grow up with the same set of friends so that made our bond even stronger. We graduated from high school together in 1999, but then we went separate ways to college. We wound up going to college 2 ½ hours apart, but we still only saw each other like 5-6 during those four years. We stayed close though, because we talked all the time. After college graduation we moved to the same city and became roommates. Bad idea! It took a little time, but we became close again. She is one of those people that I will always call my best friend now matter what the current circumstance is. We share so much history and so many memories. She really truly knows me, and she can’t bullshit me either.

Then there are my other high school friends. We had a “gang” called Cotton Club (C was in it too.). There were 9 of us and we were inseparable during those years. They are all awesome! They’re the kind of friends that you don’t talk to for 5 years then you get together and pick back up like it was yesterday. I love them!

I can’t leave out my “little sister”-H… she isn’t really my sister and she is actually older than me, but that is how it feels sometimes. She is the most genuine person I know and I am a bossy know-it-all. You get the point.

Last but not least, there are the Angels- B and M… (G is a part of the Angels too.) B is actually the one that I mentioned a couple weeks ago that is pregnant. We are all in relationships with woman (or seeking one ;-)- G is single) and very independent opinionated woman. I love our girls nights together- you should see us chit-chatting over each other a dinner table!



Whew. That was a lot! It should make more sense now though. Kinda. Maybe?

Whatever.

I have to change the subject again. The 2 hour season finale of Grey’s Anatomy just went off. OH. MY. GOD. I can’t even digest what just happened. Does anybody else watch it? Izzy and O’Malley die? Seriously? And that is it until the new season? I was crying so hard, you would think these people were my friends!

Now that I got that off my chest I can talk about the Cheetos, Cheese-its and chocolate that I ate yesterday.

Ugh. I know. Let me say this though, I am PMSing and I have absolutely no control over my ridiculous cravings. I did everything that Jillian told me not to do! There is some good news though. That day after work I met up with H at a park and walked 3 miles. It doesn’t make up for the shit that I ate, but it helps. Right?

It is almost midnight; I need to go to bed. I’m sure I forgot to mention something, but I’m too exhausted from watching Grey’s!

Good Night!