Tuesday, July 27, 2010

So in love…

She never stops taking my breath away.

J and I spent the weekend attached at the hip again. :-) But get this…. I went home last night…. ALONE. Wow. What a concept?! Lol

Picking up from my last post:

Friday after work I went and hung out with G and her family like I had planned. I met some of her extended family, ate pizza and talked. It was really nice just hanging out with her… even though it was brief.

That night, J went to the club and I stayed home… I just wasn’t in the mood. I was moody and pmsing and just tired of going…. So I stayed home. It wasn’t so bad. I got a good night sleep and got up and went to work on Saturday without feeling like a zombie.

Saturday night was date night… I hadn’t seen J in 2 days, so I wanted to get really cute. I straightened my hair, spent time on my makeup, and even wrangled myself into a corset so that I could wear this really cute one shoulder little black dress.

I was late meeting her, but when she saw me she stopped in her tracks and dropped her jaw.

SN: I love the way she looks at me… I love that she thinks I’m beautiful and I love that she tells me all the time. :-)

Needless to say, Date night was great. We talked, laughed, danced and cuddled the night away.

We spent all day Sunday and Monday together too. We rented movies and finished listening to Breaking Dawn, and we went to go see The Kids are Alright (which by the way is an AWESOME movie… go see it asap!)

After being inseparable for 3 days I went home like a mature adult on Monday night and slept in my bed alone… and got up on time for work without being exhausted because of trying to hangout all night with my girlfriend. Go Me!

After I was settled in my bed (alone!) and we had said our goodnights on the phone this is the text message that I got from her:

“I had a great time with you this weekend. I fall more and more in love with u everday… u bring such joy to my life… love u baby…gnite.”


So in Love. :-)

Friday, July 23, 2010

Waking up on the wrong side of the bed…

I hate it when I’m in a mood… seems like for no apparent reason, but if I listen long enough I usually figure it out.

So… J and I have been inseparable for the last month or so and yesterday was the first night we sleep apart in a long time. The funny thing is that I have wanted some “me-time” and a break from the constant going and doing, but the moment I’m without her I miss her so I guess I have neglected my “me-time” just a little. With that said, yesterday, J took some “me-time”… I’m happy that she took some time to be in her own space and do her own thing but I’m kind of annoyed with myself because why does it feel like I wait for her to take “me-time” in order for me to get my own “me-time”?

We are definitely still in the honeymoon stage and very much in love… but I guess we are on the verge of suffocating each other. I don’t want to loose myself in this relationship… just like I know she doesn’t. How do I find a happy medium? And why do I “feel some sort of way” because she took some time away from me? I guess it kinda did hurt my feelings a little bit. It’s just so stupid and silly because even though I need time to be alone or with my friends too I don’t want her to wanna be away from me. I guess that’s just my ego at work.

It definitely doesn’t help that Aunt Flo is on her way, so I was extra emotional and teary eyed after getting off the phone with her last night. I guess I felt like there was a disconnect between us… conversation just felt weird… we talked about it, but I think we both weren’t sure why.

We still have a lot to learn about each other… it’s only been 3 months… sometimes I forget that it’s been only this short amount of time. We seem so connected all the time, but we have to find a balance. We were even off sexually a few days ago. She threw a party, trying to make extra income, and when we got home we were just off… I was drunk and she was annoyed and exhausted after planning and playing hostess and it was just bad.

I guess that happens sometimes.

I’m gonna hang out with my long lost bff G tonight (long lost because I’ve been lost in Love Land) and J and I have a date on Saturday night, so hopefully the friend time and the date night will put me/us back in my/our happy space.

There are so many other things going on right now. I really need to blog more. Our lease is up on September 21st, so that means I have to move… again. I’m dreading it. I just don’t wanna do it. The packing up of all the shit and the hauling of all the shit… oh and finding a place to live that I can afford.

I just want to be done with it already.

Wish me luck.

Until next time….

Thursday, July 15, 2010

How did I get here????

Lol…. Seemed like a good title….


I have earned a whopping $6 so far through my donate button. Thank you for getting the ball rolling!

I didn’t have much luck with selling my fat girl clothes- I had 3 huge trash bags full of clothes to sell to a second hand shop… and out of all the stuff I had they only bought 5 items, and get this… they only gave me 6 bucks for it!! I’m going to try one other second hand shop and whatever is left after that I will donate to a local woman’s shelter. (Epic Fail… at least the women at the shelter will be happy.)

My next project was to consolidate all of my debt with a lower interest rate.


Finally, I was able to get the ball rolling on something! I actually wound up taking out a $20,000 loan from my credit union at a 9.25% intrest rate to pay off all my random credit card debt. I went back and forth on weather or not that was the smartest thing to do, but in the long run having a lower interest rate and making one monthly payment going to make this process much easier and faster! So by Monday morning I will be free of credit card debt! Woooohoooooo! (Ok, I replaced it with a loan, but still- it’s nice to not have maxed out plastic in my wallet.)

One step at a time.

Next…. Remember all that weight I lost? I’m slowly gaining in back, I’m up to 182lbs, my lowest weight was 168. Time to get back on the wagon- I never reached my goal of 165lbs…. so I’m gonna try this again. It should only take me about 8 weeks or so- I’m a pro at this now ;-) (Literally laughing out loud- Oh really? Then why do you keep gaining it back??)

But that will have to wait until next week…

I am going a road trip with J… we are leaving tonight and coming back on Sunday.

It’s a TWELVE HOUR drive.


Not looking forward to the driving part. I’m excited about the trip though, I’m going to meet the family and we’re attending her cousin’s reverse reception (reception is before the wedding…. Plus, I love spending time with her, so being cooped up together in the car won’t be bad, especially since we got the final book of Twilight “Breaking Dawn” on CD to listen to in the car (yes, we are big ol’ dorks!)

So Bo voyage, until next week….. hope you all have a lovely weekend!

Friday, July 2, 2010

“I am in a financial cul-de-sac” –Carrie Bradshaw

Sooooo, after 1 year and 5 months, 104 posts, numerous comments, a blog award, lots of complaining, giggling, bragging, sadness and budgeting, I have finally decided to add a DONATE button to my blog.

Yep, I’m finally that desperate.

It can’t hurt right?

I need money, moolah, dinero, cash, cheddar, bread… whatever you wanna call it. If you can donate .50 cents or $100 dollars, I need it. My budget is getting tighter and tighter, but my debt doesn’t seem to be going down AT ALL.

I’m trying to be creative and find another way to produce some additional funds- I have got to get these credit cards paid off. I am truly just like Karyn in “SAVE KARYN” (which is an awesome book by the way- check out the link)…. $20,000+ in debt at 28 years old- I can’t really enjoy my life because I’m stressed about my money.

I refuse to live this way forever.

So why should you donate your hard earned money to me?

Well, you read my funny, witty, charming blog for entertainment (I hope) and let’s face it… I NEED HELP!

I get it, we could all use a little assistance, but if you are willing and able- I (and American Express and VISA) would greatly appreciate it.

In the meantime…. I am going to sell my fat girl clothes, apply for part-time work as a server (instant cash), start working on my book, and start playing the lottery (can you hear the sarcasm? I’m keeping my fingers crossed anyways)….

Thanks in advance for your help!

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