Tuesday, January 18, 2011


Remember the huge life changing surprise I had?

Well… it fell through.

They didn’t pick me. :-(

It’s complete bullshit.

Anyways… since it doesn’t matter anymore, I can tell you the big secret.

I auditioned for MasterChef…. A cooking show for amateur chefs that airs on Fox.

G and I drove out to New Orleans. 6 hours in the car… just me my bestie and my nerves… oh and my tasting dish on dry ice. I made Lime grilled shrimp with corn salsa and cilantro aioli… I must say it was pretty damn tasty.

I made it through the tasting round, personality round and the on-camera interview round.

Seriously, I made it really far.

Like to the point of signing confidentiality contracts and giving me dates of taping and stipend amounts if I make it to LA. Of course they were always really careful to mention that I was still in the running and not yet been selected, but still… all of that seemed to justify getting my hopes up.

But when it came down to being on the show, they didn’t pick me.

Woe is me.

The thought of possibly winning $250,000 by just doing what I love…. And the exposure on national television…

Man this is bullshit.

So I’m disappointed. But life goes on.

There is always MasterChef 2012.


Monday, January 3, 2011

Reflection on 2010…

As another year comes to an end and a new decade begins I am overwhelmed with excitement, love, gratitude and opportunity that this year brings with it.

Looking back on this past year makes me realize how much things can change with time.

January 2010…
I was getting over the breakup of my 5 year relationship… I was heartbroken and trying to find my footing. G and I went to LA for the most amazingly fun weekend ever. I started seeing a therapist, I jumped out of a plane with my best friend and moved out of the house I shared wit my ex and moved into an apartment with the city with G. January was an interesting month, I reunited with my alter-ego ‘Toni’… needles to say, I partied more than a little bit.

February 2010…
The partied continued…. Until I crashed. Literally.

March 2010…
I re-discovered myself, my spirituality and independence, and believe it or not, I did not find it in the bottom of a vodka bottle. I was going to the spiritual living center; I was working out (a lot) and I signed up for match.com.

April 2010…
I found love on match.com . I continued my workout regimen and I did the Master cleanse for the first time and hit my lowest weight ever, 169.4 lbs. Love, happiness, progress and gratitude was seeping out of my pores. :-)

May 2010…
I went on an all girls getaway to South beach and had an AMAZING time with G and some of our other friends. I came home with a girlfriend and proceeded to fall head over heals in love.

June 2010….
I turned 28 and partied like a rock star! I was still on cloud 9 of my new relationship and trying to balance love, life, friends and work…. *hence the lack of blog posts*

July 2010…
I re-evaluated my financial situation and decided to ask for donations on my blog to help me get out of debt, a` la Save-Karyn. I gained ‘honey-moon’ pounds and J and I drove 12 hours to her home town to meet the parents.

August 2010…
Off to Vegas, J and I attended her Cousins wedding together and I TRIED to get back on track in the financial and weight departments. I also had a moment (or 2) about how much I am gonna miss G when she leaves for the Peace Corps…. :-(

September 2010…
I moved into a very awesome, very comfortable, very amazing one bedroom apartment of my very own and I started taking a Science of Mind class with G and began exploring my spirituality more. I was still basking in the honeymoon love with J…. but I finally came up for some air and reached out to some friends.

October 2010…
I got to go home and visit my family. I had some much fun spending quality time them and recharging my batteries. While I was gone, J and I started writing a joint fiction story that we are still working on; who knows… it might be published one day!:-) I also dealt with an internal battle of what my passion is and how to incorporate it in real life…. For the record, I think I’ve answered my questions, but I can’t talk about it quite yet!

November 2010…
I faced the reality that I no longer had the awesome tiny body that I managed to acquire back in May. I gained every pound back plus some…. We’ll just say its winter weight! Something that I didn’t blog about…. G and I took a road trip to New Orleans; we had so much fun together…. A great bonding experience that I’ll never forget.

December 2010…
Was just a few days ago, but I was fed up with my constant weight gain and decided to the Master Cleanse again. I lost 16 pounds, but sill struggled with maintaining a structured workout plan during the holidays. I wrote down a long term financial plan…. And even achieved my first goal! I helped J with a budget and experimented in the kitchen. J and I drove up to her home town again to spend Christmas with her family…of course I missed my family during the holidays, but we had a wonderful time and I was happy to spend it with her.

All in all 2010 was an awesome year…I am so grateful for all the wonderful people I have in my life that have always supported me. Things haven’t always been easy, but I realize more and more that God is all there is and I am a strong amazing woman and even when I can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel I know that its there.

2011 is going to be another amazing year!

Happy New Year!!


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