Hell is freezing over....plus some money stuff

Hell is freezing over... Because I am posting twice in one day!

lol... yes, I know-- I'm a dork

Anywho, I wanted to take the time to update my financial info on my right side bar.

Here's a quick run down:

Emergency Fund: is still in place, in a 'hands off' bank account. Bad news is I haven't contributed to it in some time, but I am earning a few bucks in interest.

Other Savings: account is  constantly up and down, but I try really hard to keep at least at $1000 and as things come up I try to save for them. Hence few hundred dollars over my $1000 minimum. They goal is to have a steady $2000, but I've had a hard time keeping that up. I'm hoping to bump in up after my big fat tax return check.

Fully Funded Emergency Fund: isn't in my plans to happen until I am debt free, well at least outside of student loans.

Our Wedding Fund: this poor account has seen no love.... well other than withdrawals. With J out of work the money we started saving for our wedding started to be used for necessities like incredibly high power bills and ridiculous traffic tickets.

On to the debt...

AMEX: I have no excuse for myself. Long story short, I ran this card back up. And as always, I have nothing to show for it... other than the bill. The plan to is knock this out when I get my tax refund and put the card in the freezer so I won't be tempted to swipe.

MBNA: Remember this is the 0% interest card that I used to transfer a big lump some from my personal loan.This card honestly should have bee paid off by now (had I not run the AMEX back up) But as the other, I will pay this one off with a lump sum I will get back from taxes. Just in time before the 0% deal ends.

Personal Loan: My next payment will bring me under $10,000! Yesssss!! I have just been paying the minimum on this as I try to attack the other two (unsuccessfully, but still in the works.) Once I get the other 2 knocked out I will work on stacking on the payments to get this one gone as well.

Overall, I am doing better than I was doing when I started this blog. I started out with about $25,000 in debt and my current balance now (outside of my student loan debt) is $16,492.04. Seems like that number should be lower, but I will take it.


By my birthday in 143 days, my goal is to be down to: $9,000. Which I think is completely realistic. The only reason I'm not being even more aggressive is because I want to save some money for an engagement ring. I'm going to have to start a new secret blog to talk about that. :-)


Not to get completely off subject, but it's funny. I was so angry at J last night and this morning. Like really angry. I didn't post the details, but I was angry to the point that I realized the honeymoon is definitely over (we have honeymoon moments, but the actual 'vacay' is so over.) But after talking to her this morning and sharing my anger, internal battles and issues and watching her listen and really SEE me, I realized what we have is irreplaceable and as angry as I was, us talking about made it go away.... and I still want to marry her, like really wanna marry her. lol.. Isn't that funny? Our relationship isn't perfect, in fact it has been pretty fucking hard from time to time, but we are both so invested, so vulnerable and so willing to communicate, that even in rage we can figure it out. Relationships take work and effort and honesty... I guess a part of me is a little afraid that this relationship will crash and burn just like the last one, but what I am learning is, I am a work in progress and I have to make a conscious effort to not loose myself and that part is just as important as communication with her and putting forth effort.


Ok... that's it. That's all I got. See you soon.


P.S. Feel free to click on the donate button on the top left of the page and show me a little bit of love... or a lotta bit, your call. :-) Thanks a million!

xoxo,

Definitely still obese...

Ok. Today was my first WW weigh-in.

220 pounds

That means I lost .2 pounds.

.2 pounds.

(point) 2 fucking pounds.

J lost 2.8 pounds.

Do I need to say how angry I am?

I lived that fucking plan all week long. To the T... well, until Friday night, which is a mistake. But still. I lived the plan. I did everything. and I worked out. and I lost .2 pounds.

So note to self: don't eat at all (like nothing) and spend 2-3 hours at the gym doing hardcore cardio. Then you might loose 2 or 3 pounds. This is bullshit.

No I am not giving up. But I need to figure out a way to not obsess over everything and just eat healthy and get really good workouts in. Why does it feel so hard this time.

fml

blah.

If I don't lose 5 pounds by next Saturday's weigh-in I'm going to start puking after my meals and spending the night at the gym.

Joking.

But seriously, I must get my shit together asap. I refuse to be fat and 30.



xoxo,

I'm obese

Yes, that is is right. I am obese.

I'm back on Weight Watchers. I literally just rejoined 5 minutes ago. During the process of signing up online I had to put in my height and weight information and out popped my BMI info.... and taaadaaa.... I'm a fat little piggy, or just plain old obese.

This weight battle is a royal pain in my ass. Weight Watchers has worked in the past, so I am going to give it a try again. The last time I weighed myself  I was 217lbs (also know as OBESE....ggrrrr). Can you believe that back in May of 2010 I was at 168lbs?

That is 49 lbs.

I must do it this time and KEEP IT OFF FOREVER.

I have to.

I will be 30 in 152 days. Simple enough right?

My first Weight Watchers meeting is this Saturday, so lets round it up....my goal is to loose 50 pounds in 150 days.

50 pounds in 150 days.

If you've got any words of advice.... I'll take it. Pray for me guys. I will try to be better about keeping you guys posted along the way.

First things first... get my obese ass to a meeting.


xoxo,
 

Wedding dresses, marathons and getting older...

Hello again!!

Sooooo.... remember that wedding dress I was dying to try on? It looked horrible. I never considered myself very tall....but the the dress hit my ankles. Ridiculousness.

I've tried on a few more since then,  but no "OMG I NEED THIS DRESS" moments quite yet. I'll get more serious as we get closer, but first things first, we have to make it official and get engaged. Now just to get the money to buy it....

Ugh.

That is a whole other story. Money. J isn't working, she is however getting unemployment and still has a nice chunk of change in savings. But I'm a little scared. What if when the money runs out she still isn't working? We'll be a 1 income household and that means money will be tight... which also means spending 2 grand on a ring is out of the question... at least until there is some stability. I have faith in her and her skills and her motivation.... and the universe of course and I know that everything will workout perfectly and we'll have all the money we need plus some.

The next update..... since weight loss is always a struggle for me, J had the idea that I focus on a goal instead of pounds lost. Sooooooo we both signed up for a half marathon. 13.1 miles. Why? Why would you want to run for 13 straight miles?? lol! Why not!? I've ran for years, but never long distances. I ran 5 miles for the first time ever this past week... it feels amazing, so I'm going to keep running. The weight will come off.

And what a perfect time to do this..... 30 is coming up hard and fast and I'm going to be in the best shape of my life. Promise.



xoxo,

Running in circles…

I’m back on the weight loss wagon.

Back with the trainer that I was working out with before.

I lost 14 pounds in my first week. Yes. You read that right, 14 pounds in 1 week.

Today (week 2), I ate… cheetos, bbq chips, 1 mini cheesecake bite, mushroom and eggplant lasagna and chocolate… oh and bbq chicken and potato salad and a bite of peach cobbler.

Probably not going to loose much weight this week… I’m blaming it on PMDD.

That’s all I wanted to say. Please don’t judge me.


xoxo,

Bad Blogger

*sigh* How I missed you.

I’m a very bad bloggeres… it’s been over a month since my last post. Trust me, it’s not because I haven’t had things to say. I guess I’ve just been über busy.


I mentioned a few posts ago that I started another blog, a food blog, and as much as I want to share it here, I can’t because I kinda like the whole anonymous thing. However I will say, that I am the proud owner of my very first (dot)com… which I am super excited about. It still needs some work, but I’m really enjoying it and I see lots of opportunities coming from it.

So that’s that.

In other news...

I’m still fat. In fact, fatter than before, 219lbs to be exact. I don’t know what happened. Well, I do know what happened, I stopped paying attention to my diet and stopped working out. I rejoined LAfitness, but haven’t gotten a steady habit going yet. I’m working on it. I should probably start my weigh-ins ever Friday again, but I’m not going to make any promises yet.

Now, let’s talk about money. I’ve updated my financials in the column to the right. Money wise, things aren’t too bad. I’ve got a few big expenses coming up, but I’ve been saving, so that should be too big of a deal. I did run Credit Card #1 up a little again, but it’s not too bad and I will have that paid off (again) before the end of the year. What I am really looking forward too is J and I moving in together… that is going to free up sooooo much money, we’ll finally be able to really start saving for the wedding.

More on my love life… it’s great! As I mentioned, J and I are moving in together next month. I’m nervous and excited all at the same time. Nervous because this the first time I will really, truly be living with my partner and as much as I love her, she is messy and drops her shit in piles all over the place. I’m not the tidiest person in the world either, so I know we will make it work, I just want us both to feel comfortable in OUR space. I’m so excited too though, just to be able to share a space and it be ours to build together and not have to worry about where this or that is and if it’s at my apartment or hers (hate that!). Not to mention we will be cutting major costs. Between our 2 apartments we spend about $2100 on rent and utilities, which is ridiculous. Our budget for our new place is about $1200/month for rent $200month for utilities… that is freaking $700 saved a month. Unreal.

Anywho, the new home search it’s self is a big ol’ pain in the ass. We have to have looked at at least 20 different properties, ok I’m exaggerating, maybe more like 10, but it seems like so much more because we haven’t loved anything. Not to mention all the shit we have to shift through on the internet before we find something even worth looking at. We’ve got one place in mind, we’ve dubbed it the ‘heartbreak hotel’ because the community looks like an old porn set from the 70’s…. yep, you heard me. The inside of the condo is gorgeous, but the community… not so much. I’ll have to dedicate a whole post to the home search.

That is it for now. I promise it won’t be another month before I write again…. Talk to you guys soon. Have a great weekened!!



xoxo,

Such a Pretty Face…

Yes… this is another Fat blog.

You know, one of those blogs where the writer complains about her weight and other people’s reaction to her ‘thickness’.

I am so sick of people saying I have such a “pretty face”. Do you not understand that I take that as an insult? It’s like saying, your face is pretty, but DAMN the rest of you is fucked up!

Ok, so maybe that is just me projecting, but really people, you can’t possibly think that that is a compliment. Really, I wish people would just stop. Just don’t say anything if that is all you have to say. How about, you look nice today, or, you look beautiful…. Or gosh, you are one stunning lady. Not… hmm, you have such a beautiful face.. then look at the rest of me like, “such a shame.”

Again, I may very well be projecting, but it pissed me off today. As I was lounging at the pool talking about how I wanted to be as small as I was last year… the young lady decided to tell me that I had a beautiful face, great boobs and my arms weren’t fat at all… and oh, and you’re light skinned.

Huh?!

Insert angry “light-skinned” lady here.

I feel angry and sad… and pissed. I know I am a beautiful person, but I’m not happy in my skin right now. As much as I want to lose weight, I’m not trying. And as much as I hate my body, I’m still eating and not working out nearly as much as I need to.

I’m frustrated and angry. Mostly at myself.

Hopefully I’ll come to and get it together soon . I don’t know how much longer I can allow my ass to expand.

Sorry for the angry post… but this is my life.

Maybe it’ll change soon.
 
xoxo,

I’m an addict.

(I can’t remember the last time I have posted twice in one day, but this is important, so I must share.)

I’ve tossed that word around over the years, but it wasn’t until just now when I read this post from Elle at a Prior Fat Girl that I realized that it could actually be true.

I had to google it just to be certain, but sure enough this pops up on wikipedia:

Compulsive overeating, also sometimes called food addiction, is characterized by an obsessive/compulsive relationship to food. Professionals address this with either a behavior-modification model or a food-addiction model.[1] An individual suffering from compulsive overeating disorder engages in frequent episodes of uncontrolled eating, or binge eating, during which they may feel frenzied or out of control, often consuming food past the point of being comfortably full. Binging in this way is generally followed by feelings of guilt and depression. Unlike individuals with bulimia, compulsive overeaters do not attempt to compensate for their binging with purging behaviors such as fasting, laxative use or vomiting. Compulsive overeaters will typically eat when they are not hungry. Their obsession is demonstrated in that they spend excessive amounts of time and thought devoted to food, and secretly plan or fantasize about eating alone. Compulsive overeating usually leads to weight gain and obesity, but not everyone who is obese is also a compulsive overeater. While compulsive overeaters tend to be overweight or obese, persons of normal or average weight can also be affected.

“Addiction can also be viewed as a continued involvement with a substance or activity despite the negative consequences associated with it.”

I may not be morbidly obese like the woman in Elle’s story, and I may not be as extreme as the wikipedia definition, but I absolutely have the same problem.

I lie about food.
I hide and sneak food.
I binge on food, even when I’m not hungry per se, it’s more so just trying to feed the deprivation that I create in my mind after a period of ‘being good’.

I literally have tears rolling down my cheeks.

J is going to kill me, she doesn’t know about this. But I have to write it.

Just last week I ate McDonald's. In my car. In the parking lot at work. And I didn’t tell anyone about it. No one. Sat in my car and ate alone. Ten piece nuggets, cheeseburger, medium fries and a coke. I ate every last bite and then disposed of the evidence in the dumpster after double checking my car to make sure a lone fry or any other remnants wasn’t left in my car for J to see.

I am ashamed and don’t want her to know that despite all my efforts food still won.

And it’s not the first time.

Although, it’s definitely been a quite while. I was doing well when I was working out with my trainer, but the moment I stopped and life started happening again, all those old feelings came bubbling back up like the acid reflux I have been experiencing, the idea that- I’m not allowed to eat anything – and I’m never going to reach my goal weight.

Is it just about sabotaging myself because I don’t think I can do it? Or because I don’t trust myself?

Or maybe I feel out of control, so I control what I want to eat when I want to eat it regardless of its effect on my body and emotional state?

I understand that this is ridiculous because the reason I don’t eat that crap is because it’s not good for me and I want to be healthy, not because I can’t have it. But really, practically on some real-life shit, I still crave things that aren’t good for me.

There are definitely times when I am doing ‘good’ and I’m craving healthy foods and strenuous workouts, but there are those other times when I want to binge on all the things I can’t have, and when I eventually do give in, I feel guilty and hopeless.

I don’t know how to fix it.

I want to be healthy.

I don’t want to EVER have to hide food.

I am ashamed and disappointed… and a little sad.

So at the end of all this, the crying and the feeling ashamed, it does make me want to be better and fight harder and be my own motivation, but what scares me is what happens when that runs out and I’m back to the core of a binge eater. How do I change that part of me? How do I really truly make a lifestyle change? Is it realistic to never, ever eat pasta again, or bread…. Or a cupcake. Is that just it? I’m not responsible enough to have it?

Maybe I need to go back to something like weight watchers and relearn that it’s ok to eat the things I want, but only in moderation?

I’m a smart girl and I understand that you have to eat less and work out more to loose weight…but somewhere there is a disconnect.

Something has got to give.

Just to clarify, I didn’t intend for this to be a ‘woe-is-me’ post. Reading Elle’s story really shook me and made me what to acknowledge that I’m no different than that lady buying two dozen deviled eggs for a "party". As much as I want to separate myself, I can’t. It also made me realize that I DO NOT WAN TO BE THAT GIRL.

So I won’t.

I will let go of the guilt that surrounds food. I will workout hard but I will not deprive myself. I will learn moderation even if it means starting over again with a tool like Weight Watchers. I trust myself and I don’t need french fries to make me feel like I can ‘have things’… because at the end of the day I get to have a healthy mind and body.

Thanks for listening.


Side note for Mom:
I’m ok Mom, I promise... thanks to you I am a strong woman and even though this is hard and it sucks big fat asscakes, it’ll all work out to be perfectly fine. HDGDL

Side note for J:
I confessed my sin; please don’t give me the eyes of disappointment when I get home. Love you.


xoxo,
 

It's not Friday yet...

I have soooo many things I want to talk about.

First that I really, really miss G who is out in the middle of no where serving in the Peace Corps, and How J and I celebrated our 1 year anniversary in Miami during a big lezzie pride weekend 2 weeks ago, and the wonderful weekend we had in NYC as I accompanied J to a career changing and inspiring workshop this past weekend. 

(breathe)

But, the number one thing is how I am beginning to absolutely despise my job.

Ok, not really my job, more so just my dick-head boss.

Ok, maybe my job too.

Any who...I'd love to elaborate on all these things, but I am literally looking for jobs as I type this and also working on another little project for my side business.

Sooooo I'll get into that more later.

On another note...

Here's a little something that kinda made my day this morning....

It's not a huge drop in fact it is tini-tiny considering the last time I weighed myself... but with the rate that things have been going, I'm happy with this number.

No, I don't want to talk about the drinks in Miami, or the Chinese food, pizza, hot dogs and more in New York, or the fact that I have only workedout twice in the last 2 weeks.

Why is it so hard this time?!

I think it may be time to join LA Fitness again. I keep going back and forth with this. I have a gym in my apartment community, but it's nothing special (2 treadmills, an elliptical and weights) and it takes a shit-ton of motivation to get me there because it's sooooo boring. If I have my gym clothes in the car and I'm paying LA Fitness 30 bucks a month, I should have a tad bit more motivation, no? Or is this just another cop-out excuse to blow some money?

Don't know, but I shall keep you posted on what I decided.

Have a wonderful day.... I'll be back very soon :-)


xoxo,

Friday weigh-in…

Let me preface this by saying I started working out with a trainer last Thursday and he has been KICKING MY ASS.

1 hour workouts Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday.

And he also has me on a limited 2 week meal plan: fruits, veggies, lean meats (only grilled, baked or seared), baked potatoes (white or sweet) and a gallon of water a day. So no carbs, no chocolate, no alcohol, nothing…. Fun.

So when I began my training he weighed me in at 219.6. (Which I fought tooth and nail, his scale is definitely fucked up! I weighed myself that morning and I weighed 212… so that is what I’m going with.)

Anyways…. Long story short, I lost 6 pounds according to his scale over the week- 213.6 , but according to my scale….

211.8

Funny, because that is what I weighed last Friday (on my scale).

WTF is going on here? Am I losing or not?

How can I loose 6 pounds on his scale and nada on mine?

I feel healthier and my pants are fitting better, so I know I have at least lost inches, but what the fuck is up with this scale garbage??

Anywho… I’m not sweatin’ it because I’m kicking ass and taking names. J

Have a wonderful weekend!

xoxo,

P.S. I have some exciting news! I’ll post details tomorrow!

Friday Weigh-in...

Annnnnd I'm back!

Cancun was awesome!! Soooooo beautiful. It was a much needed break, but I am already exhausted again and in need of another vacay. Which is perfect because Mom and Sis are here and I'm on vacation for the next week!  Very excited to not have to go to that stupid place.

Anyways.... I skipped last week because I was out of town, but i did get a new scale and I did weigh myself this morning.

Drum roll please.....

That would be 211.8.

2.8 lost

What? So the formula is do nothing and you loose weight??

Go figure?! I'll take it though!

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend!


xoxo,

I lied.

I didn’t buy a scale. I didn’t do a great job working out this week. And I ate cookies and at work.

I also said weigh-ins would resume yesterday and I didn’t post my weight. I weighed myself; I just didn’t want to post it.

So here it is…

Yes, it says 214.6.

Sooo… the number on the (old, dumb, broken) scale isn’t a huge surprise.

One good thing, I seemed to have figured out a few styles that work for my ever expanding hair. *embrace the bigness*

Another note… J has found a trainer for me. I need someone to kick my ass… because clearly I’m not motivated enough to do it myself. Hopefully he won’t be a million dollars and I can start that soon.

Something has got to give.

Outside of my weight rollercoaster and my frizzy fro… I’m super über excited because my sister will be her on Tuesday!! YAAAY!! We’ll go to Mexico next week (don’t stare at the beached whale please- ok seriously, I’ll be a hot beached whale cause I got this super cute vintage bathing suit) and then my Mommy will be here 3 days after we get back.

Can’t wait to have some relax time. *sigh* Is it Thursday yet??

You wonderful people have a wonderful weekend!

xoxo,

Woe is me…

In case you didn’t notice, I didn’t weigh myself yesterday.

2 reasons for that… I was afraid I gained and my scale is going bonkers.

But mostly I just didn’t want to know.

I had a horrible week working out… not so bad on the food because I haven’t had much of an appetite at all… but still, I know my body and I need a good workout.

So blah, blah, blah… woe is me… blah, blah blah….

I don’t feel good on the inside… I’m struggling MAJORLY with my hair. I don’t think that I have mentioned but I am in the process of going natural… it’s been over a year and the only time I am actually happy with my hair is when I get it straightened. *sigh*

I know it’s dumb… but between the nappy hair and the big ass I still haven’t been able to get a handle on my motivation.

I took the time to watch some you tube videos about transition to natural hair… so I have a couple ideas on things to try… maybe if I feel better about the way that I look I’ll be more motivated to treat my body better.

Anywho… enough of the sob story… I’m going to Wal-Mart to buy a new scale, so I will resume weigh-ins this coming Friday.

Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend.


xoxo,
 

Friday Weigh-in...

Drum roll please...

1.4lbs lost!

The week I actually think I'm gonna gain and I have the biggest loss yet this go round.

I almost didn't weight myself this morning because it's been an up and down week... I've been working out, but also not making the best food choices.

Go figure.

I can't figure out how my body works. It's bizarre.

Just a note... I got my hair 'did' last night... therefore I won't be working out again until Tuesday. Means I can't eat anything. Nothing at all. Haha... ok, not really, but I have to be mindful about what I put in my mouth.

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

xoxo,

Friday Weigh-in…

Incredibly shitty week. All around. Pmsing. Bloated. Binged on cookies.

Blah.

I’ve been struggling. The food is the hardest part. There are days I just want to eat and it’s hard to keep the goal in site. It pisses me off that I can’t eat certain things… but then I think is it that serious?? Sometimes it feels like it is. Hopefully, I’ll get out of my funk soon.

On a happier note… I have been working out in the mornings… I did 5 days this week. I’ve only been getting in 45 mins to an hour, but I’ve been trying to push myself during my workouts and I’ve been doing a lot more strength training… hoping that it will boost my metabolism.

Anyways… on to the weigh-in…

0.4 lbs down

At least it wasn’t a gain.

Blah.

xoxo,
 

Friday weigh in... (or fml... or I'm grateful for my beautiful, healthy, functioning body :-/)

You know...

Aunt flo is on the way... but I also ate oreos this week (another post to come on that)

*sign*

0.6 lbs lost

FML!! I'm grateful for my beautiful, healthy, functioning body!

Have a wonderful weekend!

xoxo,
 

Friday Weigh-in…

1.6 lbs lost

It’s a start.

I’m more proud of working out 4 times this week and eating much MUCH healthier than I had been eating before.

Baby Steps.

Have a wonderful weekend!

xoxo,

Friday weigh-in...

This morning talking to J on the phone... "I'm only 20 pounds away from being on the Biggest Loser"

This is bullshit. I gotta do better.

xoxo,
 

Meltdown…

Forever 21 was the culprit.

About a week or so ago J and I went to the mall to look for a birthday dress for her… it was normal enough, shuffling through clothes, wondering what very petite midget wears the mis-sized clothing floating on the racks, when I spot what seemed to be a very large (even by forever 21 standards) misplaced, beige, 3x, strapless dress.

I jump for a joy on the inside because I was under the impression that their plus size line had been pulled from most of the stores in my state. I proceed to walk around the store to find MY section… it’s a pretty big store, so when I spot someone with the yellow lanyard hanging around his neck I stop and ask…

“excuse me, do you still have a plus size section here?”

The underage twerp rolls his eyes, chuckles and says … “Um, no.” As though I have asked the most ridiculous question in the world.

I immediately shrink to about 2 inches and typical me my eyes swell with tears. I swallow back the tears and keep it moving because, number one I don’t want J to notice (which of course she does) and number 2, I feel like I don’t get to be sad and my feeling don’t get to be hurt, I got to this size on my own, it’s not Forever 21’s fault… or the douche bag that just saw me as another chubby girl in a skinny girls store.

J and I are so connected that she notices that something is wrong and when she asks it all spills over… I hate feeling bad about the way I look. I hate that I can’t buy clothes in regular stores. I hate that I let myself get this big again. The part that sucks the most is that tears are running down my face and I want to go eat something…I don’t wanna work out or try to change, I just want to crawl in a hole and eat.

Why is it so hard? Especially when I know I can do it because I’ve done it before. It’s just so frustrating because I did this to myself… again.

I’m at my highest weight ever and I can’t seem to find the motivation I need to get the weight off for good.

I need to loose 55 pounds…. That’s so intimidating.

It’s depressing.

But such is life…. Time to put my big girl panties on and deal with it. I just have to put one foot in front of the other and do my best. I have to start now. I don’t want to be the girl that has a meltdown because there isn’t a plus size section in the trendy store.

First thing, I am going start my weekly weigh-in back up. Friday mornings, starting next Friday, I’ll weigh myself and I’ll post it right here. I gotta have some accountability, I can’t keep hiding and pretending like it’s not happening.

Second thing, I am going to commit to working out 4 times a week 4 hours total. Doesn’t matter when or how, but I have to get it in.

That’s it for now… in the meantime, if anyone sees my motivation wandering around can you please send it back to me??

xoxo,

Battling the fat girl living inside of me and Betty Crocker…

I haven’t been to the gym since last Wednesday.

I haven’t been eating badly, but I haven’t been to the gym in 7 days, and the only reason I went then was because I was out of town for business and I didn’t have anything else to do.

What do I have to do to get rid of the porker inside of me??

Didn't I enjoy working out at one point??

I keep saying all the things I need to do, and I’m ‘gonna’ do… Hell I stopped eating for 11 days cleanse my system and ‘re-boot’(11 days instead of 10 on the master cleanse, apparently J and I can’t count!).

Part of the problem is the holiday madness. Getting ready for our road trip, baking millions of delicious little treats as though my last name is Crocker… shopping, packing and shipping… just one thing after another.

The cookies turned out great by the way… here is the picture I promised:




Chocolate chip cookies, Nutella filled orange linzer cookies, Mexican wedding cookies (aka snowball cookies), butter cookies AND sugar cookies

Needles to say, my kitchen was quite a CF (cluster fuck) for a couple of days… but it was worth it…. I’m pretty sure the girlfriend’s family will enjoy them! Nothing like a homemade gift!
Good news is when we get back from our holiday road trip the cookies will no longer be in the house, there will be no gifts to wrap and I’ll have absolutely no excuse for not working out.

Talk to you guys when I get back…. Have a wonderful ChrisKwazHkah!

xoxo,