As Valentine’s Day approaches I’m compelled to write about love…
We all want the same thing in life… to find love, to be loved and to give love.
Each time we enter a relationship we hope that this will be the ‘one’. Sometimes it takes a while to realize that it might not be it and then sometimes we know right away; but like they say… when you know… you know.
And I know.
Girlfriend is not perfect… and she is different from me in many ways. I’m an organized nerd that is addicted to stability and she is a free spirit that hates to pay bills and goes to whatever lengths necessary to follow her dreams. She does some things that drive me nuts… she has habits that are not ideal… and I know that I have my ‘perks’ too, but as crazy as it sounds I know that she is perfect for me.
This is the most loving relationship I have ever been in. We appreciate and respect each other and we take time to show it. She puts me first and she always thinks as a ‘two’. She is my best friend and the most amazing partner I’ve ever had. It’s the little things too, like how she looks at me with so much love in her eyes, how she always reaches for my hand when we are out and about or riding in the car, scrabble at 2am, Monday funday, conversations that last hours… She’s thoughtful, and caring… she’s affectionate, she appreciates me and she carries her own weight in our relationship. I can lean on her and know that she won’t fall under the pressure. And all of that makes me want to do the same for her.
And beyond all of that, it doesn’t feel hard.
As cheesy as it is… I’ve never been so in love in my life. <3
With all that I have been through, you would think that I would be jaded and incapable of trusting someone, but it’s just the opposite. After everything, what I have learned about myself is that I will always be ok. My heart can be broken and I can cry and be sad and depressed but after all of that I know that I still have me. And it’s that that allows me to give myself to J and be soooo vulnerable and not be jaded. I don’t have anything to lose. Nothing is guaranteed, I get that. I can only promise to do my best and give everything and she can only do the same. If we were ever to spilt ways, I would be crushed. Devastated. but I really think that you have to be in that space, you have to be vulnerable, you have to be able to be hurt in order to really give and receive love, because otherwise you are guarded and you can’t be guarded with one foot by the door and still expect to receive everything that you want in a relationship—you get what you give. So I give everything I can.
So on this Valentine’s Day I’m so grateful to have J… who ‘matches’ me in effort, mind, body and spirit to create the amazing love that we share.
Happy Valentine’s Day <3