Consistency on the weight loss wagon

Apparently consistency is something I have a problem with- it’s been a month since I last wrote… and I’m back on the weight loss wagon. Again. I’m not even going to try to recap what happened in the last month that I didn’t write… I barley remember what I ate yesterday! So on to the Present! I am writing this as I eat plain lightly salted rice cakes… yum! 2pm-5pm is the toughest time to get through!! That is when the cravings start… and let’s be real, who wants to munch on carrots… or rice cakes for that matter! It’s all about a lifestyle change…. Don’t gorge yourself. Small portions, and be active. One thing that I have noticed is that I am not tired all the time. Don’t get me wrong. I HATE getting up in the morning, but once I’m up I’m okay. One thing that I have noticed it that I have been having a lot of “Ah-Ha” moments lately; okay, maybe it’s the same one; I just have it everyday at the gym….hahahaha! Seriously, I have to force myself to go to the gym, I usually don’t want to, I usually want to go eat something that my fat ass doesn’t need… but somehow I make it to the gym! I usually start slow, and kind of dragging, but then I get this burst of energy and the epiphany comes… I CAN DO THIS! I can totally fucking do this! I can lose weight and feel great, and look FABULOUS in a bikini! That epiphany gets me through a 45min (sometimes an hour) workout and I leave feeling great and I go home and I eat something reasonable and healthy. Go figure! That is until the next day and the same cycle begins again. As long as I can continue to have this cycle, I might actually do this! I was reading an article in Redbook yesterday about a woman in her 40’s or 50’s (I can’t remember) who was successful in every aspect of her life, except losing weight. Every goal she had set for herself she was able to attain it someway or another, but for whatever reason, she could not lose the weight. That made me have another “Ah-Ha” moment! I am successful in every other aspect of my life (for the most part), I mean, I’m 26 I like my job (most of the time) I made $55,000 last year, I’ve been with my girlfriend for 4 ½ years, I’m planning a huge trip to places that I have always wanted to go, I’m getting out of debt- I have a plan and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel….. so WHY? Why can’t I lose 50 measly pounds?? I can, I know I can… but what’s the hold up, why am I having such a hard time? That is the question of the decade.