Wedding dresses, marathons and getting older...

Hello again!!

Sooooo.... remember that wedding dress I was dying to try on? It looked horrible. I never considered myself very tall....but the the dress hit my ankles. Ridiculousness.

I've tried on a few more since then,  but no "OMG I NEED THIS DRESS" moments quite yet. I'll get more serious as we get closer, but first things first, we have to make it official and get engaged. Now just to get the money to buy it....

Ugh.

That is a whole other story. Money. J isn't working, she is however getting unemployment and still has a nice chunk of change in savings. But I'm a little scared. What if when the money runs out she still isn't working? We'll be a 1 income household and that means money will be tight... which also means spending 2 grand on a ring is out of the question... at least until there is some stability. I have faith in her and her skills and her motivation.... and the universe of course and I know that everything will workout perfectly and we'll have all the money we need plus some.

The next update..... since weight loss is always a struggle for me, J had the idea that I focus on a goal instead of pounds lost. Sooooooo we both signed up for a half marathon. 13.1 miles. Why? Why would you want to run for 13 straight miles?? lol! Why not!? I've ran for years, but never long distances. I ran 5 miles for the first time ever this past week... it feels amazing, so I'm going to keep running. The weight will come off.

And what a perfect time to do this..... 30 is coming up hard and fast and I'm going to be in the best shape of my life. Promise.



xoxo,

Looks like I'm a once a monther...

I just wanted to say hi... and I missed you guys, it's been almost a month again. I haven't forgotten you... just caught up in other things.

J and I have been living together for almost 2 months and things are going great... I couldn't be happier.

G will be here in about a month and a half and I can't wait to see her! It's been a whole year almost.

I think I'm going to drag her wedding dress shopping during her visit. :-)

Yep, wedding dress shopping.

Here's what I am envisioning...

*sigh* soooo pretty!


On a completely different note, I'm a little bit torn because my good friend M.... remember her? Part of the 'Angel's'... well she has fallen off the face of the planet. She's never been good at keeping in touch, but there was a point in time when she would at least respond to an email. Now.... nothing. At first I was concerned... maybe something is going one. They just got married, maybe that are trying for kids, or maybe there is stress at work... I dunno. But regardless, she hasn't responded to one email. Her wife responds, but she doesn't. Did I do something? I just thought we were closer than that. What do you do in this situation?? I'm sure I'll see her when G is in town over the holidays, but do I even say anything?? Let me know your thoughts.

See you in about a month... hopefully I can make it sooner. :-)

xoxo,

Bff forever and ever...

I had to share this... a FB note from G...made me smile today.

"remember when you threw a chair at me because I wanted to fight and you wanted to walk away? Or when we got in an argument over adding a champagne bottle sticker to a baby book? Or when you bought me a pack of huge granny panties after my surgery? Or when my devil cat chewed a whole in your sweater? Or when you allowed me to be a "tomboy" for a few months as you did my girlfriends eye makeup? Or when we had a dance party in pumps and fishnets for my birthday because it was a snow storm? Or when you fell off the toilet in the pool bathroom at your 25th- wait you wouldn't remember that! or when I tried to get E to sleep with us? (hold up , was that you?) :) I miss youuuuuu. I can't wait to see you."

She'll be here in 2 months... can't wait to see here. Nothing like a best friend.


xoxo,
 

Running in circles…

I’m back on the weight loss wagon.

Back with the trainer that I was working out with before.

I lost 14 pounds in my first week. Yes. You read that right, 14 pounds in 1 week.

Today (week 2), I ate… cheetos, bbq chips, 1 mini cheesecake bite, mushroom and eggplant lasagna and chocolate… oh and bbq chicken and potato salad and a bite of peach cobbler.

Probably not going to loose much weight this week… I’m blaming it on PMDD.

That’s all I wanted to say. Please don’t judge me.


xoxo,

Success!!

Remember the big moving drama I had mentioned at the beginning of the month? Well, all has worked it’s self out… we aren’t homeless, We signed a lease last Friday!

We went back and forth a few times and put a deposit down on a one bedroom apartment in-town at a trendy apartment complex. It was $1,000 per month so we figured we could suck it up to save the money for the wedding.

Wrong.

When we looked at the model it was a two bedroom with the same layout, just minus the second bedroom. Well when we went to look at the actual one bedroom, we looked at each other and said, No. It was cute, but it was just too damn small for all our shit, even with the 10x13 storage unit.

We were so exhausted of searching we started backtracking and called the owners of a 3 bed/2 bath condo that we had seen previously and had dubbed “Heartbreak Hotel” (because the complex looked like a set for an old 70’s porn movie). We didn’t think anyone would want ‘Heartbreak’ cause it was so old and tacky on the outside.

Wrong again.

It was gone. But maybe that was good, we don’t want to live somewhere named “heartbreak” anyways… what kind of fucked up premonition is that anyways?

Next phone call went to a really cool and trendy 2 bedroom/2 bathroom townhouse that we had also seen before and had went as far as being approved to lease it, but then got cold feet and backed out. The landlord played hard-to-get a little and told us that he had another couple that was interested, and he would let us know if they decided not to take it. Turns out the other couple got cold feet as well, so the townhouse was ours!!

Success!!

Finally. Lawd have Mercy.

Granted we had to give the man all of our money ($1200) for the deposit and loose the $175 that we put down on the one bedroom, but I know we made the right decision. The new place is going to be so awesome!

I don’t know what we were thinking anyways, the townhouse is only $200 more a month and it is 1480 sqft versus the 855 sqft at the one bedroom. It’s definitely worth it. Definitely.

Anywho,

We’re moving-in in about 3 weeks, so I will post a few pictures soon.

I’m super excited for J and I to finally and officially merge our lives together. <3

Talk to you all soon! Toodles! :-)

xoxo,

Bad Blogger

*sigh* How I missed you.

I’m a very bad bloggeres… it’s been over a month since my last post. Trust me, it’s not because I haven’t had things to say. I guess I’ve just been über busy.


I mentioned a few posts ago that I started another blog, a food blog, and as much as I want to share it here, I can’t because I kinda like the whole anonymous thing. However I will say, that I am the proud owner of my very first (dot)com… which I am super excited about. It still needs some work, but I’m really enjoying it and I see lots of opportunities coming from it.

So that’s that.

In other news...

I’m still fat. In fact, fatter than before, 219lbs to be exact. I don’t know what happened. Well, I do know what happened, I stopped paying attention to my diet and stopped working out. I rejoined LAfitness, but haven’t gotten a steady habit going yet. I’m working on it. I should probably start my weigh-ins ever Friday again, but I’m not going to make any promises yet.

Now, let’s talk about money. I’ve updated my financials in the column to the right. Money wise, things aren’t too bad. I’ve got a few big expenses coming up, but I’ve been saving, so that should be too big of a deal. I did run Credit Card #1 up a little again, but it’s not too bad and I will have that paid off (again) before the end of the year. What I am really looking forward too is J and I moving in together… that is going to free up sooooo much money, we’ll finally be able to really start saving for the wedding.

More on my love life… it’s great! As I mentioned, J and I are moving in together next month. I’m nervous and excited all at the same time. Nervous because this the first time I will really, truly be living with my partner and as much as I love her, she is messy and drops her shit in piles all over the place. I’m not the tidiest person in the world either, so I know we will make it work, I just want us both to feel comfortable in OUR space. I’m so excited too though, just to be able to share a space and it be ours to build together and not have to worry about where this or that is and if it’s at my apartment or hers (hate that!). Not to mention we will be cutting major costs. Between our 2 apartments we spend about $2100 on rent and utilities, which is ridiculous. Our budget for our new place is about $1200/month for rent $200month for utilities… that is freaking $700 saved a month. Unreal.

Anywho, the new home search it’s self is a big ol’ pain in the ass. We have to have looked at at least 20 different properties, ok I’m exaggerating, maybe more like 10, but it seems like so much more because we haven’t loved anything. Not to mention all the shit we have to shift through on the internet before we find something even worth looking at. We’ve got one place in mind, we’ve dubbed it the ‘heartbreak hotel’ because the community looks like an old porn set from the 70’s…. yep, you heard me. The inside of the condo is gorgeous, but the community… not so much. I’ll have to dedicate a whole post to the home search.

That is it for now. I promise it won’t be another month before I write again…. Talk to you guys soon. Have a great weekened!!



xoxo,

Congrats New York...

It's about fucking time.

I still can't for the life of me  understand the big fucking deal.

We separated church and state in this country for a reason... and here you are pushing your religious beliefs on me. Just because I am gay doesn't mean that I shouldn't be able to get married-- you may think it's wrong, but quite honestly I don't give a fuck what you think. And for the record, who the hell are you to say my love isn't as real as yours? Really? Just think about it people, it's asinine and ignorant. Grow up.

Hopefully the rest of the USA will chime in soon. 

xoxo,

Such a Pretty Face…

Yes… this is another Fat blog.

You know, one of those blogs where the writer complains about her weight and other people’s reaction to her ‘thickness’.

I am so sick of people saying I have such a “pretty face”. Do you not understand that I take that as an insult? It’s like saying, your face is pretty, but DAMN the rest of you is fucked up!

Ok, so maybe that is just me projecting, but really people, you can’t possibly think that that is a compliment. Really, I wish people would just stop. Just don’t say anything if that is all you have to say. How about, you look nice today, or, you look beautiful…. Or gosh, you are one stunning lady. Not… hmm, you have such a beautiful face.. then look at the rest of me like, “such a shame.”

Again, I may very well be projecting, but it pissed me off today. As I was lounging at the pool talking about how I wanted to be as small as I was last year… the young lady decided to tell me that I had a beautiful face, great boobs and my arms weren’t fat at all… and oh, and you’re light skinned.

Huh?!

Insert angry “light-skinned” lady here.

I feel angry and sad… and pissed. I know I am a beautiful person, but I’m not happy in my skin right now. As much as I want to lose weight, I’m not trying. And as much as I hate my body, I’m still eating and not working out nearly as much as I need to.

I’m frustrated and angry. Mostly at myself.

Hopefully I’ll come to and get it together soon . I don’t know how much longer I can allow my ass to expand.

Sorry for the angry post… but this is my life.

Maybe it’ll change soon.
 
xoxo,

Another year older, another year wiser?

Happy 29th birthday to me!

I’m going to have to change my name soon, “Getting Close to 30” will need to be “Getting really, really close to 30”... lol

It wound up being an amazing birthday… but it started out a little rocky.

J and I were the first ones at my roof top party and we sat and sat waiting for people to show up for a good hour before anyone got there. I felt like Carrie in the season 4 opener, “The Agony and the ‘Ex’-tasy” where Carrie is sits at the restaurant alone on her 35th birthday waiting for her friends that never show up.

“The longer I sat a that table the more alone I felt and it really hit me, I’m 35 and alone”

It was depressing and made me feel like I don’t have any friends. Which is ridiculous and of course it is different because I was with my soulmate, so I wasn’t alone… but it still hurt that no one was there. I was really, really upset… like tears upset. Part of me was angry at J… I guess I wanted to blame her for not making sure people were there ahead of time, but the reality is it’s not her fault people were 2-3 hours late. Part of me wonders if I made the mistake of alienating myself in this relationship. Have I shunned my friends? Is that why they weren’t there? Am I a bad friend?

So maybe I’ll try to reach out a little more because I don’t wanna be that girl….you know the girl that is only friends with her partner and her friends. I honestly don't think I am that girl now... but just to be certain, it may be time to schedule a girls night.

Someone said to me (when I was furiously texting on the roof top complaining) that I should be happy because I have what most people want… a diamond ring and a woman that loves me. :-) Very True.

Anyways… the birthday celebration did get better, I got some very, very delicious cupcakes and J got me tickets to see Rihanna for her LOUD tour…. Yaaaaay!! :-)

The days following I sizzled in the sun with friends, drank entirely too much liquor and spent 13 hours glued in front of the television. Yes, I said 13 hours. In the end everything turned out great.

So another birthday has come and gone and I am excited about where 29 will take me.

xoxo,

A few things…

Ok, so after that heavy, dark, depressing post I left a few weeks ago about being a food addict I feel like I need to do something to lighten the mood a little in this wonderful place that I come to dump my feelings, so here’s a little something that made me smile….



Note from J reads: Thanks for always creating a wonderful healthy home for us. You light up my life. <3 Me



I know you guys get tired of me gushing about J…. but she really lights up my life. :-)

In other news…

I finally started my food blog, but I’m using my real name there sooooooo, I won’t be posting any of that here. I really enjoying being anonymous and I’d like to keep it that way… it allows me to be free! So between the new blog and job searching… I feel like I never have enough time to do anything! Job searching is so freaking time consuming!

Oh and a very cute blog that I just started following OH HAPPY DAY is giving away a trip to PARIS for 2! Airfare and Hotel included. Get your name in ASAP! Click this link to find out how to enter... http://ohhappyday.com/2011/06/goes-to-paris


Going to keep it short and sweet today, hope you all have an amazing weekend! I'll be back soon!


xoxo,