I did! I turned 30 like a big girl.
Here's to another chapter!
xoxo,
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Goodbye 20's.....Hello 30!
Here's to another chapter!
xoxo,
Friday, May 25, 2012
18 days to 30...
18 days to 30.
Man I can't believe it.
I still have a hard time actually believing that I am an adult. I mean, I realize that I have been an adult for some time now, but there's no denying it anymore once you hit 30.
I watched an episode of Shark Tank the other day and a young man created a company called "Cougars Unlimited" or some crap like that... and he made an energy drink specifically for women... older women that wanted to continue looking young for their 'younger' boyfriends. One of the sharks asked him what his target market was and he said, and I quote, "Women between the age of 30 and 55."
So I'm old enough to be a cougar now??
WTF
Anywho... I'm not panicking. It's just another birthday and I am happy with who I am and who I am becoming. 30 just seems so damn official... ya' know?
Anyways. weight loss goals have not been attained. And I don't think it is going to happen before the big 30. I got down to 210... which was awesome, but after a long weekend in Miami, that number went back up a tad. I'm still working on it though. It's hard to believe that I was talking about this when I had 152 days before my 30th birthday. Now i'm down to 18 days and I've lost a mere 4 pounds... that's a long way from 50. *sigh* But you know what? I will reach my goal of getting rid of these 50 pounds forever, it just may take a little longer than I hoped... but I WILL do it.
That's it for now.
See you soon.
xoxo,
Monday, April 9, 2012
Long time no blog...
Wow, it has been a while hasn't it? I hope you haven't been holding your breath.
A few updates...
xoxo,
A few updates...
- I completed my first half marathon, in one piece. Final time.... 3hrs 3mins...and some seconds. Goal was to finish in 2:45, but hey.... I started crying around mile 10, so I'm happy I finished.
Here's my recap from the race....
My first Half-Marathon... mile-by-mile, play-by-play:MILE 1: great, comfortable pace, looking around at all the people, no pain. My running partner, J and I started our alphabet game to pass the time and we were feeling strong. We got to the publix mile approaching mile 2 and we caught up with the 2:45 pace group. We realized they were doing 2:1 intervals and I breathed a sigh of relief…as in, maybe we can actually keep up with them. (Not so much) MILE 2: is where I hurt my foot on our last training run, so I didn’t have great memories, but I was pain free and feeling strong, so we powered through mile 2 into mile 3 MILE 3: smooth sailing, I knew were coming up on my favorite part of the route, so I was looking forward to that and I still felt strong. We passed hydration station #2 with our awesome BGR sisters cheering us on as we approached mile 4. (Don’t stop the people are watching…lol) MILE 4-5: I was still feeling good, but was def starting to feel the burn in my calfs a little. I love the Edgewood to Eulid stretch, we incorporate that stretch into our regular runs, so I was looking forward to that part, but then all of a sudden, we veer off of Edgewood, go around my fav part and then turn back onto Euclid, just in time to approach mile 5 and climb the filthy Gu stained streets of little 5. But I just go with it. At this point, I was a little tired and ready for mile 6, my running partner and I had a plan, we run 6, walk 5 minutes, run 3, walk 5 mins, and then run the rest. I was ready for the walking part. Although I had slowed down a little, I pushed through to the mile 6 marker and then promptly slowed to a walk. More like a crawl, but I was still moving. MILE 6: J was keeping track of time and pace since my pacer was out of wack. “We aren’t going to make 2:45” She yelled behind her in my direction. Me: Who cares? I just want to finish. She counts down and it is time for us to run again. At this point, I have sucked down about a pack and a half of shot blocks… mistake #1. I know the North Ave hill is coming up right before mile 7 and I am worried. I try to tell my legs to power up the hill and not break pace, but they don’t listen and I stop to walk. (That is not part of the plan!) I get to the top of the hill and pass mile marker 7… Wooo Hooo, half way there! MILE 7-9: I’m super high on shot blocks and start to run again and I fall into step with a BGR girl. We hit a comfortable pace and mile 8 and mile 9 fly by and I am feeling strong (and still high). MILE 9: Time to stop and walk again… and thank you baby Jesus, because my left calf is KILLING ME. I move over to the side and stretch again, I regret it because I know I’m going to lose both of my running partners now, but my calf hurts so bad I had to try to shake it off. J waits for me and the rest of the race was a blur. Partially because of my abuse of shot blocks and sheer exhaustion, but there were tears and lots of grunts and moans. (Note to self: for my next half, make sure you follow the training schedule so that you don’t feel like your lungs are going to collapse). J tried to motivate me…. And she did a great job, but my body wasn’t hearing it. MILE 10-12: I struggled from mile 10 to 11 with a couple of walk breaks in between, and when we finally got to mile 12, I felt like I was going to fall out right there. MILE 13: Why am I doing this? This is sooooooooo dumb! I picked up my feet and dragged my legs, old man- trot style and I got to the sign that said ¾ of a mile… WHAT?! ¾’s of a mile… that is soooo far! I have to laugh now, but that last little bit just about killed me. I got to the ¼ mile sign and I could see the corner…. Just make it to the corner. I could see J crying already and then she disappeared around the corner, I picked up my speed (at least it felt like it) trying to get through that last tenth of a mile, I saw J coming back for me so we could cross together and I saw our friends screaming at the finish line and that made me smile sooooo hard. J and I held hands a hauled our tired asses across the finish line. I DID IT! I finished! 3:03:11… that is my time to beat next time. I was so freaking happy to be done and so proud of myself for doing it. I got my medal, someone slapped a cold wet towel in my hands and that was that. 13.1… done :-)
- J and I are still living happily ever after.
- I started working out hardcore 6 days a week and watching portion sizes and I have lost 5 pounds so far.
- I'm on vacation out of the country visiting my family, so my goal is not to gain any of the weight back. And then go into attack mode the moment I get back home.
- I'm gonna be 30 in 64 days.... 64 days.
What can you say after that?
xoxo,
Friday, February 17, 2012
Marathon Relay Bling
xoxo,
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Hell is freezing over....plus some money stuff
Hell is freezing over... Because I am posting twice in one day!
lol... yes, I know-- I'm a dork
Anywho, I wanted to take the time to update my financial info on my right side bar.
Here's a quick run down:
Emergency Fund: is still in place, in a 'hands off' bank account. Bad news is I haven't contributed to it in some time, but I am earning a few bucks in interest.
Other Savings: account is constantly up and down, but I try really hard to keep at least at $1000 and as things come up I try to save for them. Hence few hundred dollars over my $1000 minimum. They goal is to have a steady $2000, but I've had a hard time keeping that up. I'm hoping to bump in up after my big fat tax return check.
Fully Funded Emergency Fund: isn't in my plans to happen until I am debt free, well at least outside of student loans.
Our Wedding Fund: this poor account has seen no love.... well other than withdrawals. With J out of work the money we started saving for our wedding started to be used for necessities like incredibly high power bills and ridiculous traffic tickets.
On to the debt...
AMEX: I have no excuse for myself. Long story short, I ran this card back up. And as always, I have nothing to show for it... other than the bill. The plan to is knock this out when I get my tax refund and put the card in the freezer so I won't be tempted to swipe.
MBNA: Remember this is the 0% interest card that I used to transfer a big lump some from my personal loan.This card honestly should have bee paid off by now (had I not run the AMEX back up) But as the other, I will pay this one off with a lump sum I will get back from taxes. Just in time before the 0% deal ends.
Personal Loan: My next payment will bring me under $10,000! Yesssss!! I have just been paying the minimum on this as I try to attack the other two (unsuccessfully, but still in the works.) Once I get the other 2 knocked out I will work on stacking on the payments to get this one gone as well.
Overall, I am doing better than I was doing when I started this blog. I started out with about $25,000 in debt and my current balance now (outside of my student loan debt) is $16,492.04. Seems like that number should be lower, but I will take it.
By my birthday in 143 days, my goal is to be down to: $9,000. Which I think is completely realistic. The only reason I'm not being even more aggressive is because I want to save some money for an engagement ring. I'm going to have to start a new secret blog to talk about that. :-)
Not to get completely off subject, but it's funny. I was so angry at J last night and this morning. Like really angry. I didn't post the details, but I was angry to the point that I realized the honeymoon is definitely over (we have honeymoon moments, but the actual 'vacay' is so over.) But after talking to her this morning and sharing my anger, internal battles and issues and watching her listen and really SEE me, I realized what we have is irreplaceable and as angry as I was, us talking about made it go away.... and I still want to marry her, like really wanna marry her. lol.. Isn't that funny? Our relationship isn't perfect, in fact it has been pretty fucking hard from time to time, but we are both so invested, so vulnerable and so willing to communicate, that even in rage we can figure it out. Relationships take work and effort and honesty... I guess a part of me is a little afraid that this relationship will crash and burn just like the last one, but what I am learning is, I am a work in progress and I have to make a conscious effort to not loose myself and that part is just as important as communication with her and putting forth effort.
Ok... that's it. That's all I got. See you soon.
P.S. Feel free to click on the donate button on the top left of the page and show me a little bit of love... or a lotta bit, your call. :-) Thanks a million!
xoxo,
lol... yes, I know-- I'm a dork
Anywho, I wanted to take the time to update my financial info on my right side bar.
Here's a quick run down:
Emergency Fund: is still in place, in a 'hands off' bank account. Bad news is I haven't contributed to it in some time, but I am earning a few bucks in interest.
Other Savings: account is constantly up and down, but I try really hard to keep at least at $1000 and as things come up I try to save for them. Hence few hundred dollars over my $1000 minimum. They goal is to have a steady $2000, but I've had a hard time keeping that up. I'm hoping to bump in up after my big fat tax return check.
Fully Funded Emergency Fund: isn't in my plans to happen until I am debt free, well at least outside of student loans.
Our Wedding Fund: this poor account has seen no love.... well other than withdrawals. With J out of work the money we started saving for our wedding started to be used for necessities like incredibly high power bills and ridiculous traffic tickets.
On to the debt...
AMEX: I have no excuse for myself. Long story short, I ran this card back up. And as always, I have nothing to show for it... other than the bill. The plan to is knock this out when I get my tax refund and put the card in the freezer so I won't be tempted to swipe.
MBNA: Remember this is the 0% interest card that I used to transfer a big lump some from my personal loan.This card honestly should have bee paid off by now (had I not run the AMEX back up) But as the other, I will pay this one off with a lump sum I will get back from taxes. Just in time before the 0% deal ends.
Personal Loan: My next payment will bring me under $10,000! Yesssss!! I have just been paying the minimum on this as I try to attack the other two (unsuccessfully, but still in the works.) Once I get the other 2 knocked out I will work on stacking on the payments to get this one gone as well.
Overall, I am doing better than I was doing when I started this blog. I started out with about $25,000 in debt and my current balance now (outside of my student loan debt) is $16,492.04. Seems like that number should be lower, but I will take it.
By my birthday in 143 days, my goal is to be down to: $9,000. Which I think is completely realistic. The only reason I'm not being even more aggressive is because I want to save some money for an engagement ring. I'm going to have to start a new secret blog to talk about that. :-)
Not to get completely off subject, but it's funny. I was so angry at J last night and this morning. Like really angry. I didn't post the details, but I was angry to the point that I realized the honeymoon is definitely over (we have honeymoon moments, but the actual 'vacay' is so over.) But after talking to her this morning and sharing my anger, internal battles and issues and watching her listen and really SEE me, I realized what we have is irreplaceable and as angry as I was, us talking about made it go away.... and I still want to marry her, like really wanna marry her. lol.. Isn't that funny? Our relationship isn't perfect, in fact it has been pretty fucking hard from time to time, but we are both so invested, so vulnerable and so willing to communicate, that even in rage we can figure it out. Relationships take work and effort and honesty... I guess a part of me is a little afraid that this relationship will crash and burn just like the last one, but what I am learning is, I am a work in progress and I have to make a conscious effort to not loose myself and that part is just as important as communication with her and putting forth effort.
Ok... that's it. That's all I got. See you soon.
P.S. Feel free to click on the donate button on the top left of the page and show me a little bit of love... or a lotta bit, your call. :-) Thanks a million!
xoxo,
Definitely still obese...
Ok. Today was my first WW weigh-in.
220 pounds
That means I lost .2 pounds.
.2 pounds.
(point) 2 fucking pounds.
J lost 2.8 pounds.
Do I need to say how angry I am?
I lived that fucking plan all week long. To the T... well, until Friday night, which is a mistake. But still. I lived the plan. I did everything. and I worked out. and I lost .2 pounds.
So note to self: don't eat at all (like nothing) and spend 2-3 hours at the gym doing hardcore cardio. Then you might loose 2 or 3 pounds. This is bullshit.
No I am not giving up. But I need to figure out a way to not obsess over everything and just eat healthy and get really good workouts in. Why does it feel so hard this time.
fml
blah.
If I don't lose 5 pounds by next Saturday's weigh-in I'm going to start puking after my meals and spending the night at the gym.
Joking.
But seriously, I must get my shit together asap. I refuse to be fat and 30.
xoxo,
220 pounds
That means I lost .2 pounds.
.2 pounds.
(point) 2 fucking pounds.
J lost 2.8 pounds.
Do I need to say how angry I am?
I lived that fucking plan all week long. To the T... well, until Friday night, which is a mistake. But still. I lived the plan. I did everything. and I worked out. and I lost .2 pounds.
So note to self: don't eat at all (like nothing) and spend 2-3 hours at the gym doing hardcore cardio. Then you might loose 2 or 3 pounds. This is bullshit.
No I am not giving up. But I need to figure out a way to not obsess over everything and just eat healthy and get really good workouts in. Why does it feel so hard this time.
fml
blah.
If I don't lose 5 pounds by next Saturday's weigh-in I'm going to start puking after my meals and spending the night at the gym.
Joking.
But seriously, I must get my shit together asap. I refuse to be fat and 30.
xoxo,
Thursday, January 12, 2012
I'm obese
Yes, that is is right. I am obese.
I'm back on Weight Watchers. I literally just rejoined 5 minutes ago. During the process of signing up online I had to put in my height and weight information and out popped my BMI info.... and taaadaaa.... I'm a fat little piggy, or just plain old obese.
This weight battle is a royal pain in my ass. Weight Watchers has worked in the past, so I am going to give it a try again. The last time I weighed myself I was 217lbs (also know as OBESE....ggrrrr). Can you believe that back in May of 2010 I was at 168lbs?
That is 49 lbs.
I must do it this time and KEEP IT OFF FOREVER.
I have to.
I will be 30 in 152 days. Simple enough right?
My first Weight Watchers meeting is this Saturday, so lets round it up....my goal is to loose 50 pounds in 150 days.
50 pounds in 150 days.
If you've got any words of advice.... I'll take it. Pray for me guys. I will try to be better about keeping you guys posted along the way.
First things first... get my obese ass to a meeting.
xoxo,
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Wedding dresses, marathons and getting older...
Hello again!!
Sooooo.... remember that wedding dress I was dying to try on? It looked horrible. I never considered myself very tall....but the the dress hit my ankles. Ridiculousness.
I've tried on a few more since then, but no "OMG I NEED THIS DRESS" moments quite yet. I'll get more serious as we get closer, but first things first, we have to make it official and get engaged. Now just to get the money to buy it....
Ugh.
That is a whole other story. Money. J isn't working, she is however getting unemployment and still has a nice chunk of change in savings. But I'm a little scared. What if when the money runs out she still isn't working? We'll be a 1 income household and that means money will be tight... which also means spending 2 grand on a ring is out of the question... at least until there is some stability. I have faith in her and her skills and her motivation.... and the universe of course and I know that everything will workout perfectly and we'll have all the money we need plus some.
The next update..... since weight loss is always a struggle for me, J had the idea that I focus on a goal instead of pounds lost. Sooooooo we both signed up for a half marathon. 13.1 miles. Why? Why would you want to run for 13 straight miles?? lol! Why not!? I've ran for years, but never long distances. I ran 5 miles for the first time ever this past week... it feels amazing, so I'm going to keep running. The weight will come off.
And what a perfect time to do this..... 30 is coming up hard and fast and I'm going to be in the best shape of my life. Promise.
xoxo,
Sooooo.... remember that wedding dress I was dying to try on? It looked horrible. I never considered myself very tall....but the the dress hit my ankles. Ridiculousness.
I've tried on a few more since then, but no "OMG I NEED THIS DRESS" moments quite yet. I'll get more serious as we get closer, but first things first, we have to make it official and get engaged. Now just to get the money to buy it....
Ugh.
That is a whole other story. Money. J isn't working, she is however getting unemployment and still has a nice chunk of change in savings. But I'm a little scared. What if when the money runs out she still isn't working? We'll be a 1 income household and that means money will be tight... which also means spending 2 grand on a ring is out of the question... at least until there is some stability. I have faith in her and her skills and her motivation.... and the universe of course and I know that everything will workout perfectly and we'll have all the money we need plus some.
The next update..... since weight loss is always a struggle for me, J had the idea that I focus on a goal instead of pounds lost. Sooooooo we both signed up for a half marathon. 13.1 miles. Why? Why would you want to run for 13 straight miles?? lol! Why not!? I've ran for years, but never long distances. I ran 5 miles for the first time ever this past week... it feels amazing, so I'm going to keep running. The weight will come off.
And what a perfect time to do this..... 30 is coming up hard and fast and I'm going to be in the best shape of my life. Promise.
xoxo,
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Looks like I'm a once a monther...
I just wanted to say hi... and I missed you guys, it's been almost a month again. I haven't forgotten you... just caught up in other things.
J and I have been living together for almost 2 months and things are going great... I couldn't be happier.
G will be here in about a month and a half and I can't wait to see her! It's been a whole year almost.
I think I'm going to drag her wedding dress shopping during her visit. :-)
Yep, wedding dress shopping.
Here's what I am envisioning...
*sigh* soooo pretty!
On a completely different note, I'm a little bit torn because my good friend M.... remember her? Part of the 'Angel's'... well she has fallen off the face of the planet. She's never been good at keeping in touch, but there was a point in time when she would at least respond to an email. Now.... nothing. At first I was concerned... maybe something is going one. They just got married, maybe that are trying for kids, or maybe there is stress at work... I dunno. But regardless, she hasn't responded to one email. Her wife responds, but she doesn't. Did I do something? I just thought we were closer than that. What do you do in this situation?? I'm sure I'll see her when G is in town over the holidays, but do I even say anything?? Let me know your thoughts.
See you in about a month... hopefully I can make it sooner. :-)
xoxo,
J and I have been living together for almost 2 months and things are going great... I couldn't be happier.
G will be here in about a month and a half and I can't wait to see her! It's been a whole year almost.
I think I'm going to drag her wedding dress shopping during her visit. :-)
Yep, wedding dress shopping.
Here's what I am envisioning...
*sigh* soooo pretty!
On a completely different note, I'm a little bit torn because my good friend M.... remember her? Part of the 'Angel's'... well she has fallen off the face of the planet. She's never been good at keeping in touch, but there was a point in time when she would at least respond to an email. Now.... nothing. At first I was concerned... maybe something is going one. They just got married, maybe that are trying for kids, or maybe there is stress at work... I dunno. But regardless, she hasn't responded to one email. Her wife responds, but she doesn't. Did I do something? I just thought we were closer than that. What do you do in this situation?? I'm sure I'll see her when G is in town over the holidays, but do I even say anything?? Let me know your thoughts.
See you in about a month... hopefully I can make it sooner. :-)
xoxo,
Friday, October 7, 2011
Bff forever and ever...
I had to share this... a FB note from G...made me smile today.
She'll be here in 2 months... can't wait to see here. Nothing like a best friend."remember when you threw a chair at me because I wanted to fight and you wanted to walk away? Or when we got in an argument over adding a champagne bottle sticker to a baby book? Or when you bought me a pack of huge granny panties after my surgery? Or when my devil cat chewed a whole in your sweater? Or when you allowed me to be a "tomboy" for a few months as you did my girlfriends eye makeup? Or when we had a dance party in pumps and fishnets for my birthday because it was a snow storm? Or when you fell off the toilet in the pool bathroom at your 25th- wait you wouldn't remember that! or when I tried to get E to sleep with us? (hold up , was that you?) :) I miss youuuuuu. I can't wait to see you."
xoxo,
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Running in circles…
I’m back on the weight loss wagon.
Back with the trainer that I was working out with before.
I lost 14 pounds in my first week. Yes. You read that right, 14 pounds in 1 week.
Today (week 2), I ate… cheetos, bbq chips, 1 mini cheesecake bite, mushroom and eggplant lasagna and chocolate… oh and bbq chicken and potato salad and a bite of peach cobbler.
Probably not going to loose much weight this week… I’m blaming it on PMDD.
That’s all I wanted to say. Please don’t judge me.
xoxo,
Back with the trainer that I was working out with before.
I lost 14 pounds in my first week. Yes. You read that right, 14 pounds in 1 week.
Today (week 2), I ate… cheetos, bbq chips, 1 mini cheesecake bite, mushroom and eggplant lasagna and chocolate… oh and bbq chicken and potato salad and a bite of peach cobbler.
Probably not going to loose much weight this week… I’m blaming it on PMDD.
That’s all I wanted to say. Please don’t judge me.
xoxo,
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Success!!
Remember the big moving drama I had mentioned at the beginning of the month? Well, all has worked it’s self out… we aren’t homeless, We signed a lease last Friday!
We went back and forth a few times and put a deposit down on a one bedroom apartment in-town at a trendy apartment complex. It was $1,000 per month so we figured we could suck it up to save the money for the wedding.
Wrong.
When we looked at the model it was a two bedroom with the same layout, just minus the second bedroom. Well when we went to look at the actual one bedroom, we looked at each other and said, No. It was cute, but it was just too damn small for all our shit, even with the 10x13 storage unit.
We were so exhausted of searching we started backtracking and called the owners of a 3 bed/2 bath condo that we had seen previously and had dubbed “Heartbreak Hotel” (because the complex looked like a set for an old 70’s porn movie). We didn’t think anyone would want ‘Heartbreak’ cause it was so old and tacky on the outside.
Wrong again.
It was gone. But maybe that was good, we don’t want to live somewhere named “heartbreak” anyways… what kind of fucked up premonition is that anyways?
Next phone call went to a really cool and trendy 2 bedroom/2 bathroom townhouse that we had also seen before and had went as far as being approved to lease it, but then got cold feet and backed out. The landlord played hard-to-get a little and told us that he had another couple that was interested, and he would let us know if they decided not to take it. Turns out the other couple got cold feet as well, so the townhouse was ours!!
Success!!
Finally. Lawd have Mercy.
Granted we had to give the man all of our money ($1200) for the deposit and loose the $175 that we put down on the one bedroom, but I know we made the right decision. The new place is going to be so awesome!
I don’t know what we were thinking anyways, the townhouse is only $200 more a month and it is 1480 sqft versus the 855 sqft at the one bedroom. It’s definitely worth it. Definitely.
Anywho,
We’re moving-in in about 3 weeks, so I will post a few pictures soon.
I’m super excited for J and I to finally and officially merge our lives together. <3
Talk to you all soon! Toodles! :-)
xoxo,
We went back and forth a few times and put a deposit down on a one bedroom apartment in-town at a trendy apartment complex. It was $1,000 per month so we figured we could suck it up to save the money for the wedding.
Wrong.
When we looked at the model it was a two bedroom with the same layout, just minus the second bedroom. Well when we went to look at the actual one bedroom, we looked at each other and said, No. It was cute, but it was just too damn small for all our shit, even with the 10x13 storage unit.
We were so exhausted of searching we started backtracking and called the owners of a 3 bed/2 bath condo that we had seen previously and had dubbed “Heartbreak Hotel” (because the complex looked like a set for an old 70’s porn movie). We didn’t think anyone would want ‘Heartbreak’ cause it was so old and tacky on the outside.
Wrong again.
It was gone. But maybe that was good, we don’t want to live somewhere named “heartbreak” anyways… what kind of fucked up premonition is that anyways?
Next phone call went to a really cool and trendy 2 bedroom/2 bathroom townhouse that we had also seen before and had went as far as being approved to lease it, but then got cold feet and backed out. The landlord played hard-to-get a little and told us that he had another couple that was interested, and he would let us know if they decided not to take it. Turns out the other couple got cold feet as well, so the townhouse was ours!!
Success!!
Finally. Lawd have Mercy.
Granted we had to give the man all of our money ($1200) for the deposit and loose the $175 that we put down on the one bedroom, but I know we made the right decision. The new place is going to be so awesome!
I don’t know what we were thinking anyways, the townhouse is only $200 more a month and it is 1480 sqft versus the 855 sqft at the one bedroom. It’s definitely worth it. Definitely.
Anywho,
We’re moving-in in about 3 weeks, so I will post a few pictures soon.
I’m super excited for J and I to finally and officially merge our lives together. <3
Talk to you all soon! Toodles! :-)
xoxo,
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Bad Blogger
*sigh* How I missed you.
I’m a very bad bloggeres… it’s been over a month since my last post. Trust me, it’s not because I haven’t had things to say. I guess I’ve just been über busy.
I mentioned a few posts ago that I started another blog, a food blog, and as much as I want to share it here, I can’t because I kinda like the whole anonymous thing. However I will say, that I am the proud owner of my very first (dot)com… which I am super excited about. It still needs some work, but I’m really enjoying it and I see lots of opportunities coming from it.
So that’s that.
In other news...
I’m still fat. In fact, fatter than before, 219lbs to be exact. I don’t know what happened. Well, I do know what happened, I stopped paying attention to my diet and stopped working out. I rejoined LAfitness, but haven’t gotten a steady habit going yet. I’m working on it. I should probably start my weigh-ins ever Friday again, but I’m not going to make any promises yet.
Now, let’s talk about money. I’ve updated my financials in the column to the right. Money wise, things aren’t too bad. I’ve got a few big expenses coming up, but I’ve been saving, so that should be too big of a deal. I did run Credit Card #1 up a little again, but it’s not too bad and I will have that paid off (again) before the end of the year. What I am really looking forward too is J and I moving in together… that is going to free up sooooo much money, we’ll finally be able to really start saving for the wedding.
More on my love life… it’s great! As I mentioned, J and I are moving in together next month. I’m nervous and excited all at the same time. Nervous because this the first time I will really, truly be living with my partner and as much as I love her, she is messy and drops her shit in piles all over the place. I’m not the tidiest person in the world either, so I know we will make it work, I just want us both to feel comfortable in OUR space. I’m so excited too though, just to be able to share a space and it be ours to build together and not have to worry about where this or that is and if it’s at my apartment or hers (hate that!). Not to mention we will be cutting major costs. Between our 2 apartments we spend about $2100 on rent and utilities, which is ridiculous. Our budget for our new place is about $1200/month for rent $200month for utilities… that is freaking $700 saved a month. Unreal.
Anywho, the new home search it’s self is a big ol’ pain in the ass. We have to have looked at at least 20 different properties, ok I’m exaggerating, maybe more like 10, but it seems like so much more because we haven’t loved anything. Not to mention all the shit we have to shift through on the internet before we find something even worth looking at. We’ve got one place in mind, we’ve dubbed it the ‘heartbreak hotel’ because the community looks like an old porn set from the 70’s…. yep, you heard me. The inside of the condo is gorgeous, but the community… not so much. I’ll have to dedicate a whole post to the home search.
That is it for now. I promise it won’t be another month before I write again…. Talk to you guys soon. Have a great weekened!!
xoxo,
I’m a very bad blogg
I mentioned a few posts ago that I started another blog, a food blog, and as much as I want to share it here, I can’t because I kinda like the whole anonymous thing. However I will say, that I am the proud owner of my very first (dot)com… which I am super excited about. It still needs some work, but I’m really enjoying it and I see lots of opportunities coming from it.
So that’s that.
In other news...
I’m still fat. In fact, fatter than before, 219lbs to be exact. I don’t know what happened. Well, I do know what happened, I stopped paying attention to my diet and stopped working out. I rejoined LAfitness, but haven’t gotten a steady habit going yet. I’m working on it. I should probably start my weigh-ins ever Friday again, but I’m not going to make any promises yet.
Now, let’s talk about money. I’ve updated my financials in the column to the right. Money wise, things aren’t too bad. I’ve got a few big expenses coming up, but I’ve been saving, so that should be too big of a deal. I did run Credit Card #1 up a little again, but it’s not too bad and I will have that paid off (again) before the end of the year. What I am really looking forward too is J and I moving in together… that is going to free up sooooo much money, we’ll finally be able to really start saving for the wedding.
More on my love life… it’s great! As I mentioned, J and I are moving in together next month. I’m nervous and excited all at the same time. Nervous because this the first time I will really, truly be living with my partner and as much as I love her, she is messy and drops her shit in piles all over the place. I’m not the tidiest person in the world either, so I know we will make it work, I just want us both to feel comfortable in OUR space. I’m so excited too though, just to be able to share a space and it be ours to build together and not have to worry about where this or that is and if it’s at my apartment or hers (hate that!). Not to mention we will be cutting major costs. Between our 2 apartments we spend about $2100 on rent and utilities, which is ridiculous. Our budget for our new place is about $1200/month for rent $200month for utilities… that is freaking $700 saved a month. Unreal.
Anywho, the new home search it’s self is a big ol’ pain in the ass. We have to have looked at at least 20 different properties, ok I’m exaggerating, maybe more like 10, but it seems like so much more because we haven’t loved anything. Not to mention all the shit we have to shift through on the internet before we find something even worth looking at. We’ve got one place in mind, we’ve dubbed it the ‘heartbreak hotel’ because the community looks like an old porn set from the 70’s…. yep, you heard me. The inside of the condo is gorgeous, but the community… not so much. I’ll have to dedicate a whole post to the home search.
That is it for now. I promise it won’t be another month before I write again…. Talk to you guys soon. Have a great weekened!!
xoxo,
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Congrats New York...
It's about fucking time.
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xoxo,
I still can't for the life of me understand the big fucking deal.
We separated church and state in this country for a reason... and here you are pushing your religious beliefs on me. Just because I am gay doesn't mean that I shouldn't be able to get married-- you may think it's wrong, but quite honestly I don't give a fuck what you think. And for the record, who the hell are you to say my love isn't as real as yours? Really? Just think about it people, it's asinine and ignorant. Grow up.
Hopefully the rest of the USA will chime in soon.
xoxo,
Such a Pretty Face…
Yes… this is another Fat blog.
You know, one of those blogs where the writer complains about her weight and other people’s reaction to her ‘thickness’.
I am so sick of people saying I have such a “pretty face”. Do you not understand that I take that as an insult? It’s like saying, your face is pretty, but DAMN the rest of you is fucked up!
Ok, so maybe that is just me projecting, but really people, you can’t possibly think that that is a compliment. Really, I wish people would just stop. Just don’t say anything if that is all you have to say. How about, you look nice today, or, you look beautiful…. Or gosh, you are one stunning lady. Not… hmm, you have such a beautiful face.. then look at the rest of me like, “such a shame.”
Again, I may very well be projecting, but it pissed me off today. As I was lounging at the pool talking about how I wanted to be as small as I was last year… the young lady decided to tell me that I had a beautiful face, great boobs and my arms weren’t fat at all… and oh, and you’re light skinned.
Huh?!
Insert angry “light-skinned” lady here.
I feel angry and sad… and pissed. I know I am a beautiful person, but I’m not happy in my skin right now. As much as I want to lose weight, I’m not trying. And as much as I hate my body, I’m still eating and not working out nearly as much as I need to.
I’m frustrated and angry. Mostly at myself.
Hopefully I’ll come to and get it together soon . I don’t know how much longer I can allow my ass to expand.
Sorry for the angry post… but this is my life.
Maybe it’ll change soon.
xoxo,
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Another year older, another year wiser?
Happy 29th birthday to me!
I’m going to have to change my name soon, “Getting Close to 30” will need to be “Getting really, really close to 30”... lol
It wound up being an amazing birthday… but it started out a little rocky.
J and I were the first ones at my roof top party and we sat and sat waiting for people to show up for a good hour before anyone got there. I felt like Carrie in the season 4 opener, “The Agony and the ‘Ex’-tasy” where Carrie is sits at the restaurant alone on her 35th birthday waiting for her friends that never show up.
So maybe I’ll try to reach out a little more because I don’t wanna be that girl….you know the girl that is only friends with her partner and her friends. I honestly don't think I am that girl now... but just to be certain, it may be time to schedule a girls night.
Someone said to me (when I was furiously texting on the roof top complaining) that I should be happy because I have what most people want… a diamond ring and a woman that loves me. :-) Very True.
Anyways… the birthday celebration did get better, I got some very, very delicious cupcakes and J got me tickets to see Rihanna for her LOUD tour…. Yaaaaay!! :-)
The days following I sizzled in the sun with friends, drank entirely too much liquor and spent 13 hours glued in front of the television. Yes, I said 13 hours. In the end everything turned out great.
So another birthday has come and gone and I am excited about where 29 will take me.
xoxo,
I’m going to have to change my name soon, “Getting Close to 30” will need to be “Getting really, really close to 30”... lol
It wound up being an amazing birthday… but it started out a little rocky.
J and I were the first ones at my roof top party and we sat and sat waiting for people to show up for a good hour before anyone got there. I felt like Carrie in the season 4 opener, “The Agony and the ‘Ex’-tasy” where Carrie is sits at the restaurant alone on her 35th birthday waiting for her friends that never show up.
It was depressing and made me feel like I don’t have any friends. Which is ridiculous and of course it is different because I was with my soulmate, so I wasn’t alone… but it still hurt that no one was there. I was really, really upset… like tears upset. Part of me was angry at J… I guess I wanted to blame her for not making sure people were there ahead of time, but the reality is it’s not her fault people were 2-3 hours late. Part of me wonders if I made the mistake of alienating myself in this relationship. Have I shunned my friends? Is that why they weren’t there? Am I a bad friend?“The longer I sat a that table the more alone I felt and it really hit me, I’m 35 and alone”
So maybe I’ll try to reach out a little more because I don’t wanna be that girl….you know the girl that is only friends with her partner and her friends. I honestly don't think I am that girl now... but just to be certain, it may be time to schedule a girls night.
Someone said to me (when I was furiously texting on the roof top complaining) that I should be happy because I have what most people want… a diamond ring and a woman that loves me. :-) Very True.
Anyways… the birthday celebration did get better, I got some very, very delicious cupcakes and J got me tickets to see Rihanna for her LOUD tour…. Yaaaaay!! :-)
The days following I sizzled in the sun with friends, drank entirely too much liquor and spent 13 hours glued in front of the television. Yes, I said 13 hours. In the end everything turned out great.
So another birthday has come and gone and I am excited about where 29 will take me.
xoxo,
Friday, June 10, 2011
A few things…
Ok, so after that heavy, dark, depressing post I left a few weeks ago about being a food addict I feel like I need to do something to lighten the mood a little in this wonderful place that I come to dump my feelings, so here’s a little something that made me smile….
In other news…
I finally started my food blog, but I’m using my real name there sooooooo, I won’t be posting any of that here. I really enjoying being anonymous and I’d like to keep it that way… it allows me to be free! So between the new blog and job searching… I feel like I never have enough time to do anything! Job searching is so freaking time consuming!
Oh and a very cute blog that I just started following OH HAPPY DAY is giving away a trip to PARIS for 2! Airfare and Hotel included. Get your name in ASAP! Click this link to find out how to enter... http://ohhappyday.com/2011/06/goes-to-paris
Going to keep it short and sweet today, hope you all have an amazing weekend! I'll be back soon!
xoxo,
 |
| Note from J reads: Thanks for always creating a wonderful healthy home for us. You light up my life. <3 Me |
I know you guys get tired of me gushing about J…. but she really lights up my life. :-)
I finally started my food blog, but I’m using my real name there sooooooo, I won’t be posting any of that here. I really enjoying being anonymous and I’d like to keep it that way… it allows me to be free! So between the new blog and job searching… I feel like I never have enough time to do anything! Job searching is so freaking time consuming!
Oh and a very cute blog that I just started following OH HAPPY DAY is giving away a trip to PARIS for 2! Airfare and Hotel included. Get your name in ASAP! Click this link to find out how to enter... http://ohhappyday.com/2011/06/goes-to-paris
Going to keep it short and sweet today, hope you all have an amazing weekend! I'll be back soon!
xoxo,
Thursday, May 26, 2011
I’m an addict.
(I can’t remember the last time I have posted twice in one day, but this is important, so I must share.)
I’ve tossed that word around over the years, but it wasn’t until just now when I read this post from Elle at a Prior Fat Girl that I realized that it could actually be true.
I had to google it just to be certain, but sure enough this pops up on wikipedia:
I lie about food.
I hide and sneak food.
I binge on food, even when I’m not hungry per se, it’s more so just trying to feed the deprivation that I create in my mind after a period of ‘being good’.
I literally have tears rolling down my cheeks.
J is going to kill me, she doesn’t know about this. But I have to write it.
Just last week I ate McDonald's. In my car. In the parking lot at work. And I didn’t tell anyone about it. No one. Sat in my car and ate alone. Ten piece nuggets, cheeseburger, medium fries and a coke. I ate every last bite and then disposed of the evidence in the dumpster after double checking my car to make sure a lone fry or any other remnants wasn’t left in my car for J to see.
I am ashamed and don’t want her to know that despite all my efforts food still won.
And it’s not the first time.
Although, it’s definitely been a quite while. I was doing well when I was working out with my trainer, but the moment I stopped and life started happening again, all those old feelings came bubbling back up like the acid reflux I have been experiencing, the idea that- I’m not allowed to eat anything – and I’m never going to reach my goal weight.
Is it just about sabotaging myself because I don’t think I can do it? Or because I don’t trust myself?
Or maybe I feel out of control, so I control what I want to eat when I want to eat it regardless of its effect on my body and emotional state?
I understand that this is ridiculous because the reason I don’t eat that crap is because it’s not good for me and I want to be healthy, not because I can’t have it. But really, practically on some real-life shit, I still crave things that aren’t good for me.
There are definitely times when I am doing ‘good’ and I’m craving healthy foods and strenuous workouts, but there are those other times when I want to binge on all the things I can’t have, and when I eventually do give in, I feel guilty and hopeless.
I don’t know how to fix it.
I want to be healthy.
I don’t want to EVERhave to hide food.
I am ashamed and disappointed… and a little sad.
So at the end of all this, the crying and the feeling ashamed, it does make me want to be better and fight harder and be my own motivation, but what scares me is what happens when that runs out and I’m back to the core of a binge eater. How do I change that part of me? How do I really truly make a lifestyle change? Is it realistic to never, ever eat pasta again, or bread…. Or a cupcake. Is that just it? I’m not responsible enough to have it?
Maybe I need to go back to something like weight watchers and relearn that it’s ok to eat the things I want, but only in moderation?
I’m a smart girl and I understand that you have to eat less and work out more to loose weight…but somewhere there is a disconnect.
Something has got to give.
Just to clarify, I didn’t intend for this to be a ‘woe-is-me’ post. Reading Elle’s story really shook me and made me what to acknowledge that I’m no different than that lady buying two dozen deviled eggs for a "party". As much as I want to separate myself, I can’t. It also made me realize that I DO NOT WAN TO BE THAT GIRL.
So I won’t.
I will let go of the guilt that surrounds food. I will workout hard but I will not deprive myself. I will learn moderation even if it means starting over again with a tool like Weight Watchers. I trust myself and I don’t need french fries to make me feel like I can ‘have things’… because at the end of the day I get to have a healthy mind and body.
Thanks for listening.
Side note for Mom:
I’m ok Mom, I promise... thanks to you I am a strong woman and even though this is hard and it sucksbig fat asscakes, it’ll all work out to be perfectly fine. HDGDL
Side note for J:
I confessed my sin; please don’t give me the eyes of disappointment when I get home. Love you.
xoxo,
I’ve tossed that word around over the years, but it wasn’t until just now when I read this post from Elle at a Prior Fat Girl that I realized that it could actually be true.
I had to google it just to be certain, but sure enough this pops up on wikipedia:
Compulsive overeating, also sometimes called food addiction, is characterized by an obsessive/compulsive relationship to food. Professionals address this with either a behavior-modification model or a food-addiction model.[1] An individual suffering from compulsive overeating disorder engages in frequent episodes of uncontrolled eating, or binge eating, during which they may feel frenzied or out of control, often consuming food past the point of being comfortably full. Binging in this way is generally followed by feelings of guilt and depression. Unlike individuals with bulimia, compulsive overeaters do not attempt to compensate for their binging with purging behaviors such as fasting, laxative use or vomiting. Compulsive overeaters will typically eat when they are not hungry. Their obsession is demonstrated in that they spend excessive amounts of time and thought devoted to food, and secretly plan or fantasize about eating alone. Compulsive overeating usually leads to weight gain and obesity, but not everyone who is obese is also a compulsive overeater. While compulsive overeaters tend to be overweight or obese, persons of normal or average weight can also be affected.
“Addiction can also be viewed as a continued involvement with a substance or activity despite the negative consequences associated with it.”I may not be morbidly obese like the woman in Elle’s story, and I may not be as extreme as the wikipedia definition, but I absolutely have the same problem.
I lie about food.
I hide and sneak food.
I binge on food, even when I’m not hungry per se, it’s more so just trying to feed the deprivation that I create in my mind after a period of ‘being good’.
I literally have tears rolling down my cheeks.
J is going to kill me, she doesn’t know about this. But I have to write it.
Just last week I ate McDonald's. In my car. In the parking lot at work. And I didn’t tell anyone about it. No one. Sat in my car and ate alone. Ten piece nuggets, cheeseburger, medium fries and a coke. I ate every last bite and then disposed of the evidence in the dumpster after double checking my car to make sure a lone fry or any other remnants wasn’t left in my car for J to see.
I am ashamed and don’t want her to know that despite all my efforts food still won.
And it’s not the first time.
Although, it’s definitely been a quite while. I was doing well when I was working out with my trainer, but the moment I stopped and life started happening again, all those old feelings came bubbling back up like the acid reflux I have been experiencing, the idea that- I’m not allowed to eat anything – and I’m never going to reach my goal weight.
Is it just about sabotaging myself because I don’t think I can do it? Or because I don’t trust myself?
Or maybe I feel out of control, so I control what I want to eat when I want to eat it regardless of its effect on my body and emotional state?
I understand that this is ridiculous because the reason I don’t eat that crap is because it’s not good for me and I want to be healthy, not because I can’t have it. But really, practically on some real-life shit, I still crave things that aren’t good for me.
There are definitely times when I am doing ‘good’ and I’m craving healthy foods and strenuous workouts, but there are those other times when I want to binge on all the things I can’t have, and when I eventually do give in, I feel guilty and hopeless.
I don’t know how to fix it.
I want to be healthy.
I don’t want to EVER
I am ashamed and disappointed… and a little sad.
So at the end of all this, the crying and the feeling ashamed, it does make me want to be better and fight harder and be my own motivation, but what scares me is what happens when that runs out and I’m back to the core of a binge eater. How do I change that part of me? How do I really truly make a lifestyle change? Is it realistic to never, ever eat pasta again, or bread…. Or a cupcake. Is that just it? I’m not responsible enough to have it?
Maybe I need to go back to something like weight watchers and relearn that it’s ok to eat the things I want, but only in moderation?
I’m a smart girl and I understand that you have to eat less and work out more to loose weight…but somewhere there is a disconnect.
Something has got to give.
Just to clarify, I didn’t intend for this to be a ‘woe-is-me’ post. Reading Elle’s story really shook me and made me what to acknowledge that I’m no different than that lady buying two dozen deviled eggs for a "party". As much as I want to separate myself, I can’t. It also made me realize that I DO NOT WAN TO BE THAT GIRL.
So I won’t.
I will let go of the guilt that surrounds food. I will workout hard but I will not deprive myself. I will learn moderation even if it means starting over again with a tool like Weight Watchers. I trust myself and I don’t need french fries to make me feel like I can ‘have things’… because at the end of the day I get to have a healthy mind and body.
Thanks for listening.
Side note for Mom:
I’m ok Mom, I promise... thanks to you I am a strong woman and even though this is hard and it sucks
Side note for J:
I confessed my sin; please don’t give me the eyes of disappointment when I get home. Love you.
xoxo,
It's not Friday yet...
I have soooo many things I want to talk about.
First that I really, really miss G who is out in the middle of no where serving in the Peace Corps, and How J and I celebrated our 1 year anniversary in Miami during a big lezzie pride weekend 2 weeks ago, and the wonderful weekend we had in NYC as I accompanied J to a career changing and inspiring workshop this past weekend.
(breathe)
But, the number one thing is how I am beginning to absolutely despise my job.
Ok, not really my job, more so just my dick-head boss.
Ok, maybe my job too.
Any who...I'd love to elaborate on all these things, but I am literally looking for jobs as I type this and also working on another little project for my side business.
Sooooo I'll get into that more later.
On another note...
Here's a little something that kinda made my day this morning....
It's not a huge drop in fact it is tini-tiny considering the last time I weighed myself... but with the rate that things have been going, I'm happy with this number.
No, I don't want to talk about the drinks in Miami, or the Chinese food, pizza, hot dogs and more in New York, or the fact that I have only workedout twice in the last 2 weeks.
Why is it so hard this time?!
I think it may be time to join LA Fitness again. I keep going back and forth with this. I have a gym in my apartment community, but it's nothing special (2 treadmills, an elliptical and weights) and it takes a shit-ton of motivation to get me there because it's sooooo boring. If I have my gym clothes in the car and I'm paying LA Fitness 30 bucks a month, I should have a tad bit more motivation, no? Or is this just another cop-out excuse to blow some money?
Don't know, but I shall keep you posted on what I decided.
Have a wonderful day.... I'll be back very soon :-)
xoxo,
First that I really, really miss G who is out in the middle of no where serving in the Peace Corps, and How J and I celebrated our 1 year anniversary in Miami during a big lezzie pride weekend 2 weeks ago, and the wonderful weekend we had in NYC as I accompanied J to a career changing and inspiring workshop this past weekend.
(breathe)
But, the number one thing is how I am beginning to absolutely despise my job.
Ok, not really my job, more so just my dick-head boss.
Ok, maybe my job too.
Any who...I'd love to elaborate on all these things, but I am literally looking for jobs as I type this and also working on another little project for my side business.
Sooooo I'll get into that more later.
On another note...
Here's a little something that kinda made my day this morning....
It's not a huge drop in fact it is tini-tiny considering the last time I weighed myself... but with the rate that things have been going, I'm happy with this number.
No, I don't want to talk about the drinks in Miami, or the Chinese food, pizza, hot dogs and more in New York, or the fact that I have only workedout twice in the last 2 weeks.
Why is it so hard this time?!
I think it may be time to join LA Fitness again. I keep going back and forth with this. I have a gym in my apartment community, but it's nothing special (2 treadmills, an elliptical and weights) and it takes a shit-ton of motivation to get me there because it's sooooo boring. If I have my gym clothes in the car and I'm paying LA Fitness 30 bucks a month, I should have a tad bit more motivation, no? Or is this just another cop-out excuse to blow some money?
Don't know, but I shall keep you posted on what I decided.
Have a wonderful day.... I'll be back very soon :-)
xoxo,
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
She “Put a Ring on It” :-)
Annnnnnnnnnddddddddddd.... a month later I’m back! And with the big news that I was supposed to share ‘tomorrow’… oops, sorry! :-/ Family was in town, work, out of town, work... one thing after another and no time to blog, and then when I had time the blogger was down... wtf...
So anyways… here’s the big news….
My girlfriend "liked it" soooooo.... she “Put a Ring on It” !! :-) *doing the single ladies dance*
I should say that it is not an engagement ring…. It is a commitment ring, but I’m wearing it on my left hand. Everyday.
Fucking lesbians.
Lol
Of course there’s the whole background story too…
*warning* gushy, mushy, cheesy love story ahead :-)
She emailed my sister on facebook and got my Mom’s info to email her a picture of the ring. (How cute right!? <3) She said she wanted to include them in the whole commitment ring thing since they were going to be in town and because chances are they won’t be here when we actually get engaged. She told them that she loved me and she knew she wanted to spend her life with me and that she wanted to give me the ring as a promise to me, and to us and to them. So everybody knew about the ring except for me! <3
After dinner with my family for my sister’s birthday celebration, she asked if I wanted to sit outside and chat with her for a little bit before I went in, we chatted a little bit and she said had something for me at her house and she wanted to run and get it really quick. I rode with her since she only lives like 3 minutes away.
**A little side note, things were a little tense because we hadn't been spending much time together. She felt a little neglected and I felt overwhelmed. With my family in town, we didn’t have as much time to just talk and be... of course it was perfectly fine and understandable because it's my family from thousands of miles away whom I love millions and billions and hardly ever see, so she understood, but it was still an adjustment to go from always being available to each other to working time in between site seeing and traveling with the fam.**
So with that said... I was already a little on edge and emotional.... then when we got to her house she gave me the cute little gift bag and card. First I read the card, and immediately busted out into tears. It was so sweet and loving and exactly what I needed. Then the gift bag... I was wondering what it was, but I assumed it was some of my favorite colorful jewelry from Target or some other little memento of her love… but it was oddly heavy. Then I saw the JARED BOX and cried a little more, ok a whole lot more. It’s such a beautiful ring…. I love love looooooooove it.
I know it shows silly because I know she loves me, but there was a sense of relief that came over me…. Like she really wants me, like for real, like really, it’s not just talking. I know a lot of people don’t understand the whole commitment ring thing, but it is absolutely the sweetest thing anyone has ever done. I know it is just a piece of jewelry, but it means so much more than that, just the gesture and the meaning behind it. I’m so in love with her and I’m really REALLY grateful to have found someone who loves as hard as I do, and who thinks about the details and wants the same things and is not afraid of being vulnerable.
Oh did I mention that I gave her a ring too?? :-) It was a few weeks after I got mine; I really wanted her to have one too... so my sister and I shopped around for a while and I finally settled on one from Jared too.
Here’s both the rings…
I’m so in love and I’m soooo happy to be in a relationship with someone that puts as much effort into this as I do.
She never ceases to amaze me. <3
xoxo,
So anyways… here’s the big news….
 |
| <3 |
I should say that it is not an engagement ring…. It is a commitment ring, but I’m wearing it on my left hand. Everyday.
Fucking lesbians.
Lol
Of course there’s the whole background story too…
*warning* gushy, mushy, cheesy love story ahead :-)
She emailed my sister on facebook and got my Mom’s info to email her a picture of the ring. (How cute right!? <3) She said she wanted to include them in the whole commitment ring thing since they were going to be in town and because chances are they won’t be here when we actually get engaged. She told them that she loved me and she knew she wanted to spend her life with me and that she wanted to give me the ring as a promise to me, and to us and to them. So everybody knew about the ring except for me! <3
After dinner with my family for my sister’s birthday celebration, she asked if I wanted to sit outside and chat with her for a little bit before I went in, we chatted a little bit and she said had something for me at her house and she wanted to run and get it really quick. I rode with her since she only lives like 3 minutes away.
**A little side note, things were a little tense because we hadn't been spending much time together. She felt a little neglected and I felt overwhelmed. With my family in town, we didn’t have as much time to just talk and be... of course it was perfectly fine and understandable because it's my family from thousands of miles away whom I love millions and billions and hardly ever see, so she understood, but it was still an adjustment to go from always being available to each other to working time in between site seeing and traveling with the fam.**
So with that said... I was already a little on edge and emotional.... then when we got to her house she gave me the cute little gift bag and card. First I read the card, and immediately busted out into tears. It was so sweet and loving and exactly what I needed. Then the gift bag... I was wondering what it was, but I assumed it was some of my favorite colorful jewelry from Target or some other little memento of her love… but it was oddly heavy. Then I saw the JARED BOX and cried a little more, ok a whole lot more. It’s such a beautiful ring…. I love love looooooooove it.
I know it shows silly because I know she loves me, but there was a sense of relief that came over me…. Like she really wants me, like for real, like really, it’s not just talking. I know a lot of people don’t understand the whole commitment ring thing, but it is absolutely the sweetest thing anyone has ever done. I know it is just a piece of jewelry, but it means so much more than that, just the gesture and the meaning behind it. I’m so in love with her and I’m really REALLY grateful to have found someone who loves as hard as I do, and who thinks about the details and wants the same things and is not afraid of being vulnerable.
Oh did I mention that I gave her a ring too?? :-) It was a few weeks after I got mine; I really wanted her to have one too... so my sister and I shopped around for a while and I finally settled on one from Jared too.
Here’s both the rings…
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| J's on the left.... mine on the right <3 |
I’m so in love and I’m soooo happy to be in a relationship with someone that puts as much effort into this as I do.
She never ceases to amaze me. <3
xoxo,
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