Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Food!!

So my final weight after the cleanse…. 197.2 lbs.

About 16 pounds lost in 10 days.

Not too shabby!

Here’s what I ate after a day of freash squeezed OJ and clear chicken broth…



It was delsious! Mixed greens, tomatoes, cucumbers, red onions, broccoli, dill and a homemade vinaigrette…. Yum!

I’m keeping it short today. Gotta get to the gym!

Have a wonderful night!


xoxo,
 

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Master Cleanse 2, DAY 10!! Plus budgeting and being happy…

Its day 10, its day 10!!

Yaaaaay!!!

I had a dream last night that I cheated on day nine at some kind of appetizer buffet. Stuffed mushrooms, shrimp, crudités... Lol… guess it’s about time to eat again.

So, I just have to make through today (and tonight)… I’m going to a holiday gathering this evening with G, and there will be food and alcohol… and I’ll get to have lemonade and herbal tea… yummy. Ugh.

But tomorrow morning when I wake up…. ORANGE JUICE! Yum! Delicious fresh squeezed Orange Juice… I can taste it already, it’s gonna be the best juice of my life. Monday I’m gonna go ahead and go straight into raw fruits and veggies… which means SALAD! God, I can’t explain in words how excited I am about salad. *excited*

I plan on weighing myself tomorrow morning, so I will be posting that soon.

On another note… I finally got J to do a budget. Yay! We worked on it together and tailored it to fit her exactly… it’s working really well. She has this whole new found happiness about her… between the cleanse and all the things we worked on during these 10 days, it really has transformed us both. I swear having a budget relieves so much pressure and stress! I mean… yes, it’s difficult to stick to sometimes, but seeing that your money CAN actually work for you is a awesome feeling.

Needless to say seeing her happy and being happy myself really makes me feel good… on the inside and out. *smiling*

You guys have a wonderful weekend! I’ll be back soon with my skinny-mini new weight! (ok, maybe no skinny-mini, but definitely on the way!)

xoxo,
 

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Master Cleanse 2, day 7…

Wooooo Hoooooo!! Only three more days left. Thank you GOD!

I have good news. I weighed myself yesterday…… 199.8lbs

Down 12.2 pounds! And out of the dreaded 200’s!

Again…. It’s a cleanse so I’m not eating any solid food, but I am getting about 1000 calories a day from the Lemonade and Maple syrup concoction…. So I know I will gain a few pounds back once I'm done, but I feel soooo much better and that feeling is what I need to continue to shed pounds.

I have been working out just about every day. So far I’ve gotten in a 30 minute cardio workout 5 of the 7 days, it’s definitely not an intense workout by ay means, but it’s got me moving again. Once I start eating I am definitely hopping on the treadmill to start running again- my goal is to get back up to running 2 miles in 20 minutes or less within a month.

I’m actually excited about working out (for real workouts, not just 30 min walks). When I started the cleanse, I had no desire what so ever… I just wanted to sit on my ass and eat. So Amen for that.

I’m really excited because I got exactly what I was looking for with this fast- clarity to listen to my body emotionally and physically and ENERGY to keep myself healthy.

I’ve also taken some time for myself during this period too. I took myself to the movies to see “Love and other Drugs”… which was an awesome chick-flick by the way and I looooove Anne Hathaway. I hung out with my Gay Boyfriend and I hung out with H. I’ve been reading The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success: A practical Guide to the Fulfillment of your Dreams by Deepak Chopra. J and I are also working on our budgets, and working on spiritual mind treatments for each other. It’s amazing how much time you have when you aren’t eating!

I’m super excited about my renewed attitude and burst of energy!

Hope you all have a fantastic hump day! Talk to you soon!

xoxo,
 

Friday, December 3, 2010

Updates….

Day two of the Master Cleanse.

Yes… I’m doing the Cleanse again.

I need it.

My last post was a rant about gaining weight and being out of control. Of course I recited my handy dandy 4 step plan back to health… but it doesn’t work if I don’t follow it.... so this is my way of taking some control back.

It’s like a little kid that draws all over their bedroom wall even though they get in trouble every time they get caught… finally Mom and Dad take the crayons away as punishment… hoping that the child will learn the lesson and stop drawing on the wall.

Apparently I like to draw a lot.

Anyways…. Master Cleanse isn’t really for weight loss (although that is an awesome perk), it resets my body so that I can learn to listen to it again.

J and I are doing it together… so it’s nice to have someone who feels your (hunger)pain. Nothing like another bonding experiance... <3

I weighted myself on Monday before we started the ease-in process… I weighed in at 212 pounds.

212 POUNDS!
I’m not going to bash myself about it, I’m just going to fix it.

So what happens after the cleanse?

THE GYM.

And

EATING LIKE A SENSABLE HEALTHY HUMAN BEING.

While we are cleansing… I also made a promise to workout 7 of the 10 days, not hardcore working out, just a 30 minute walk… but something to get my body used to moving again.

One thing about the Cleanse… is that you have a lot of free time (and space in your brain) because you aren’t consuming your self/thoughts with food. So in that time J and I both decided that we wanted to work on some things… some things individually and some things as a couple.

Things like, financial planning, affirmative prayer, being creative, career goals and exercise.

Speaking of financial planning, with the weight gain has come some stagnant financial progress…. So over the last few days, I spent some time moving money around and working on a plan to be wealthy and wise. Updates are posted to the right.

The biggest thing I did was transfer $7,100 of my loan debt to credit card #3….I debated for a while, but the 0% interest until March 2012 just sounded too good. Of course there was a 4% transfer fee, but that is still 5.7% less than the interest rate on my loan. (Which is about $400 saved).

I also wrote down a long term Financial Plan:

1. Save $2000 (emergency fund) by 12/30/2010. *just about there!*

2. Be (credit card)debt free by 6/15/2012.

3. Bring 401K up to 6-8%.

4. Save $10,000 by 4/1/2013 (wedding fund... Yes... I said wedding fund).
5. Save $10,000 to add to emergency fund by 4/1/2014.

6. Save $20,000-$40,000 for house down payment by 1/1/2015

7. Start baby fund after house is purchased.

The long term financial planning is a lot of fun. Especially since I have a big secret that I can’t share yet... big secret in terms of $$!

Well, that’s that… cleansing, loosing weight and building wealth. I’m wishing you guys a wonderful weekend. I’ll be back very soon!


xoxo,
 

Friday, November 12, 2010

Lazy and fat…

I shouldn’t say things like that about myself. I'm beautiful and perfect the way I am.

But seriously.

It’s true.

I am back up to 200lbs.

What the fuck.

I want to make up excuses and reasons as to why, when and how. But the reality is… I’ve been lazy, and it made me fat. Again.

Sn: I ate 2 chocolate chip cookies and 2 packs of milano cookies before noon.

So here is the very simple 4 step process that I need to adhere to…. Starting now.

Step one:
Stop putting random, unhealthy, unnecessary CRAP in your mouth.

Step two:
Write down what you eat. You need to be held accountable. You can’t be trusted.

Step three:
Remember that place you used to go to all the time? Some people call it the gym? Go to it. Immediately.

Step four:
Blog about it. Weigh in weekly- track your loss. If you don’t write it down for the whole world to see, you’ll ignore it and the cycle will begin again.


Simple enough. Right?




xoxo,
 

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

"Your passion is what stirs your soul...."

"Find your passion. Your passion is what stirs your soul and makes you feel like you're totally in harmony with why you showed up here in the first place." Dr. Wayne Dyer

I had to smile when I read this on FB today, because my girlfriend and I have been talking a lot about this over the last few days. It’s almost like it’s been on my brain so much that it is popping up everywhere… funny how the universe works.

Sooo…what is MY passion? What’s stirs my soul?

That’s the dilemma of my world right now.

I thought cooking/food was my passion. I’m not sure that it is. I like to cook and I LOVE food. But it didn’t feel like a passion today.

I’m in Texas at our corporate test kitchen again for work… we are working on the upcoming menus and part of our process is to recreate all the recipes to test for accuracy and tasting. Well, I’m the only ‘non-chef’ and the only female in the kitchen during this process.

Don’t get me wrong…I love wearing a Chef’s jacket, clunky clog chef’s shoes and working in a commercial kitchen… but feeling like you are a tall as an ant because the Chef’s don’t respect you… not so fun. Being the only woman (out of 14 arrogant Chef’s)… also not so fun.

They always give me the simple dishes to execute… for obvious reasons, my technique and skill aren’t at their level. That said, I fucked up both vinaigrettes I was responsible for making. Well, fucked up is an exaggeration, the recipes were fucked up, but they were still looking at me like I fucked it up.

It’s silly and I know I can cook and I know most people enjoy my food, but I hate that feeling- that feeling that I’m not even good at what I THINK my passion is.

I really do love food… but it is such a blow to my ego knowing that my girlfriend and my friends think I’m this great cook… but really, in a real kitchen outside of my house, I suck.

I had to go hide in the back office for a little while because I felt the tears prickle the back of my eyes. I just felt so frustrated and sad. I remembered looking in the mirror in the bathroom this morning and liking the way the Chef’s jacket looked on me and thinking… hmm, maybe? Is it just the status that I like that comes along with the jacket? If this was my passion, wouldn’t I know it? And if this isn’t it, what do I do now?

And on another note, why is the culinary world dominated by men?

I thought cooking was a woman’s thing? It’s a horrible piggish thing to think that ‘woman belong in the kitchen’… but why isn’t that true in the commercial kitchen?? Because men don’t want women to have any power or prestige?? Maybe this is part of the reason I’m hating the culinary world right now? They are dumb. Some of the male Chef’s anyways. They act like ten year old boys running around the kitchen with chefs knives posing as reputable adults. AND they treat me as a damsel in distress. I CAN DO IT MYSELF! I know what it means to julienne, I don’t need you to show me. No, the knife is too heavy for my sad weak delicate girly hands. Just because I didn’t go to CIA and I have a vjayjay between my legs doesn’t mean I can’t fucking cut onions or chop parsley properly. Ugh. I’m just as competent as they are, but sometimes I don’t feel like I care enough to fight.

So I just had a shitty day at work. Doesn’t mean I can’t still do it. Cook that is.

I don’t wanna just go through the motions in life…. I want to do something that I’m passionate about.

So what’s my passion?

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Home sweet home…

I was at home with my family for 10 days. It felt like a 3 day weekend. But I guess that’s why they say time flies when you’re having fun.

Something about being at home recharges my battery… fills my soul. Cheesy but true.
I’ve been coming and going visiting home once… sometimes twice a year for the last 11years. You would think that after this many years the leaving would be a breeze, nope… it’s still hard. Every time.

I know I’ve written about this before, but I’m sitting in the airplane headed back to the states (back to J :-)) and thinking about how much I miss them already. I love my life in my city… just wish they were closer.

Anyways… enough of the sad stuff.

I had an awesome time at home. The highlight was definitely laying on the couch cuddling with my Mom and sister watching TV. Of course we left the house too…. Went to Oma and Opa’s house and ate delicious food. We traveled to Berlin (my first time) for 3 days and roamed around the city looking at bits of history and shopping of course.

I hung out with my Dad and his new girlfriend… that was an adventure. A topic for another post.

I just love the city that I’m from…. It’s so pretty and so full of character. The only thing that would have made it better was if J had been there. We actually had fun the 10 days we spent apart. We Skyped almost every day… and sort of found a new appreciation for each other. J actually started us on a really cute adventure. She started writing a store and sent me what she wrote for me to continue it, then I sent it back and she continued and so on. The story has evolved dramatically… it’s up to 19 pages now… and the plot and getting thicker and thicker. Her sneaky way to get me writing again I guess…lol…. It worked, because we are having so much fun writing it. I love her so much… her creativity and love for words inspires me to rekindle my own love for writing. Needless to say, I can’t wait to see how the story unfolds… it might be too racy to post here…. With Mom reading and all… lol…. We might just have to edit it and send it to a publisher. :-)

Two hours till we land… and back to reality… a pretty awesome reality. :-)

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Off to the motherland…

Vaction officially starts at 5pm today!

Wooooo Hooooo!!

You have no idea how excited I am!

I fly out tomorrow and arrive early Saturday morning. I’m so excited to see my family and to have a BREAK from work.

J and I haven’t spent more than 3 days apart, so I know I am going to miss her like crazy. Of course we’ll skype and talk on the phone and it’s only 10 days, but you know new love… at least our new love…. <3

I’m not sure if I will really be blogging that much while I’m at home… I’ll mostly be reading books, lounging around with the fam and doing NOTHING… man I love these kind of vacations, too bad there isn’t a beach near by.

SN: I weighed myself yesterday morning. 194lbs. Ugh. What does being happy in love= being fat? J has gained a good 15-20 pounds too. Operation get your body right will commence as soon as I return to the US. For real this time. I’m not gonna dwell on the disappointment, I’m going to remember how easily I ‘got rid’ of the weight last time and channel that energy to get this weight loss going. More to come…

Talk to you guys soon!

Friday, September 24, 2010

Jesus vs. Buddha

This topic is a little different than the typical things that I discuss… hopefully I don’t offend anybody, but I thought it was an interesting discussion, and well, it’s my blog so I’m sharing. :-)

My girlfriend brought up this question last night…. Is Buddha just as ‘real’ as Jesus?

First, I should state that neither one of us are Christian… she claims Buddhism and I am a spiritual being that doesn’t subscribe to one religion or another. So this question comes from a idea that Jesus (and Buddha for that matter) was a profit/spiritual leader like many other great figures in history whose stories were recorded/altered/created by man as a way to gain power over people and at times clarity and hope for sake of survival in this life. Of course this idea is subjective but still very relative when you think about this question.

*SN: J and I have this joke that the answer, cause and reason behind almost everything that isdeemed ‘wrong’ in this country are either power or capitalism. Seriously… really think about it. I bring this up because in my opinion, religion, amongst some other things, (but really all just boils back down to religion) is the basis on which this country was founded and religion has regularly been used as a way to control the masses, hence the fight for power. And Capitalism, well, like they say, money is power. More to come on that later.*

One thing that I have to remember in thinking about this question is my own perception. I wasn’t raised in a religious home. I don’t think we ever went to church as a family, ever. Well, except the day my sister and I were baptized, and even that was more of a tradition than a religious practice. I guess it’s a little bit different because culturally Germany is not a very religious country and my father, although America (who statistically are more religious), rebelled against religion after being raised Jehovah Witness and separating from his family at 17.

Hence the ‘hippie’ undertone in my perception.

I wasn’t threatened by the wrath of a Jealous God or eternal damnation. Nor did I understand enlightenment.

Although, I was threatened with Santa Claus as a kid, lol- not sure what that means though.

Seriously, I don’t really know a whole lot about either religion, even now. I didn’t even discover some of these things until I ventured into a Pentecostal church with my best friend at about the age of 10, and after that (as you can imagine) I was afraid of God, Jesus, hell and the end of the world and I just didn’t get it. Christianity was not always a source of anxiety for me, later in middle and high school most of my friends were Christian and they managed to clear some of those things up and teach me more about faith than fear. So I understand that my perception of God and religion is different than most and I have been able to form my own opinions about God without my parents beliefs hindering my perception.

Wait. Hold that thought.

Then again, my parent’s beliefs, or more accurately, lack there of, did affect my perception… I’m just as non-subscribing as they are.

Hhmmm…

Back to the question…

My answer to her was that they are both as real (or not) as you perceive them to be. Everything is about perception… if you are raised Christian, you would perceive Jesus to be ‘real’ and if you were raised Buddhist you would perceive Buddha to be ‘real’. J was raised Christian, but later found Buddhism, thus the realization and question. G is similar, both of her parents are Christian and her beliefs are now more aligned with metaphysical teachings.

First of all, the question its self shows arrogance, because it’s almost like saying, “wait, if Christianity and Jesus is bullshit does that mean the Buddhism and Buddha is too??”

I know it is silly and more of a rhetorical question than anything else… but it does present a good point.

Why would the story and teachings of Buddha be any more real than that of Christianity?

Just because we aren’t Christian and don’t subscribe to those teachings? Even the Pastor(s) at the Metaphysical Church that I sometimes attend cracks jokes about Jesus. They quotes him (Jesus), Buddha and other religious teacher’s quite regularly, but I’ve only heard cracks about Christian beliefs. For example, most recently during a Science of Mind 101 class (which is held in a Methodist church) the Pastor was talking about something and used a curse word. Ass was the word I think, but he whispered it. Multiple times. Then goes on to say that he had to whisper the curse word because there is a big Cross behind him and he doesn’t want to upset Jesus and be struck by lighting and be sent to hell. It was a joke and I most definitely laughed because I think it’s silly too, but objectively speaking, what makes Metaphysical beliefs superior to anything other? The big joke is that whole point of Metaphysics (or my understanding of it anyways) is that you don’t have to join a church, practice religion or read a bible to be a spiritual human being with an awareness of a higher consciousness.

Buddha’s life and teachings were recorded and shared by man just as Jesus’ were. For me, it’s the fear and exclusivity that Christianity seems to rule by that turns me away, but that is my experience. Again I don’t know a lot about Buddhism but I find comfort in the approach to reaching a higher consciousness or the escape from “the cycle of suffering and rebirth”. However just as Christians fear eternal damnation in hell, Buddhist (along with other eastern religions) fear bad Karma or eternal repayment of karmic debt.

Ahh, there is a reason, explanation and viewpoint for every aspect, huh?

Personally, I believe in God. A higher being. A divine spirit. The Universal energy that ties all people, animals and things together and the scientific laws of it all, but that is just my belief. As human beings we all yearn for understanding and a sense of belonging. Some achieve this through religion, others through other venues, but in the end we all want to have something to believe in, an explanation, and a hopefulness that walks along side us in our life’s journey.

Religion is such an interesting topic… touchy and personal, but Interesting nonetheless.

What are your thoughts?

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

It’s gonna be a bright, bright sun shiny daaaaay….

I haven’t written is so long (again). I so miss blogging. I have just been wrapped up in one thing or another over the last month and haven’t taken the time to just write.

Now I am. So here goes…

I’m excited about a few things right now. I finally moved into my very own, very awesome apartment this past weekend. I really really like… it’s just enough space, it’s contemporary… and it’s MINE! I’m pretty sure I mentioned this before but this is the first time that I have ever lived alone. It’s only been 3 days, but let me tell you it’s effin awesome! I definitely miss having G around, but getting dressed in the living room while watching Good Morning America makes it kinda worth it… lol, it’s the simple things.

On another note, I will be going to Germany to visit my family in about a week in a half.

I CAN'T WAIT!

I’m soooo very excited. Vacation. No work. Family time. Did I mention no work?? It sucks that J isn’t coming… I’m going to miss her so much.

Speaking of J, things are great with her. I’m so in love…sigh… and it feels so good to be loved back. We’ve shared a lot of great experiences in these short 4 months… we are still learning a lot about each other, but what I find is that when you have a real connection with someone everything just falls into place.

Life is good and I am so very happy, but my life feels just a little disheveled, with the move and the constant ‘going’ but I am grateful for each new opportunity that comes my way. However, there are a few things that I want to focus more on over the next few months....

1. Work on my book.
2. Exercise more.
3. Read more.
4. Write more.
5. Create more.

The honeymoon stage of a new relationship is amazing :-) … but it also changes priorities a little. I am grateful that my beautiful girlfriend is a creative soul and understands how important it is to not lose yourself in your relationship. Maybe we can create a new date night… like a themed date night. “Work on your book Wednesday” or “Create a new dish Monday”… The idea is to still spend time together, but to spend that time creating and being productive… instead of only making googly eyes and getting fat… lol. *Aah new love*


I also recently started taking a class with G (J is taking it too, just in the morning): Science of Mind 101. It’s really enlightening and refreshing to have this positive energy in my life. It’s a discussion on how the mind is a powerful force… and how what we think/speak is what we attract and experience in our lives… and how we can be more positive and attract more fulfilling experiences. It really is good stuff... I'll have to go more into it as the class goes on.

Well, I have to go… I need to apply to be on MasterChef. How cool would that be in I got on the show?? :-)

I’ll keep you guys posted.

Talk to you soon! :-)

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