Goodbye 20's.....Hello 30!

I did! I turned 30 like a big girl.

A note to all the 30 year olds to be.... you won't spontaneously combust or wake up with a head full of gray hair. Promise.

Here's to another chapter!

xoxo,

18 days to 30...

18 days to 30.

Man I can't believe it.

I still have a hard time actually believing that I am an adult. I mean, I realize that I have been an adult for some time now, but there's no denying it anymore once you hit 30.

I watched an episode of Shark Tank the other day and a young man created a company called "Cougars Unlimited" or some crap like that... and he made an energy drink specifically for women... older women that wanted to continue looking young for their 'younger' boyfriends. One of the sharks asked him what his target market was and he said, and I quote, "Women between the age of 30 and 55."

So I'm old enough to be a cougar now??

WTF

Anywho... I'm not panicking. It's just another birthday and I am happy with who I am and who I am becoming. 30 just seems so damn official... ya' know?

Anyways. weight loss goals have not been attained. And I don't think it is going to happen before the big 30. I got down to 210... which was awesome, but after a long weekend in Miami, that number went back up a tad. I'm still working on it though. It's hard to believe that I was talking about this when I had 152 days before my 30th birthday. Now i'm down to 18 days and I've lost a mere 4 pounds... that's a long way from 50. *sigh* But you know what? I will reach my goal of getting rid of these 50 pounds forever, it just may take a little longer than I hoped... but I WILL do it.

That's it for now.

See you soon.


xoxo,

Long time no blog...

Wow, it has been a while hasn't it? I hope you haven't been holding your breath.

A few updates...

• I completed my first half marathon, in one piece. Final time.... 3hrs 3mins...and some seconds. Goal was to finish in 2:45, but hey.... I started crying around mile 10, so I'm happy I finished.

Here's my recap from the race....

My first Half-Marathon... mile-by-mile, play-by-play:MILE 1: great, comfortable pace, looking around at all the people, no pain. My running partner, J and I started our alphabet game to pass the time and we were feeling strong. We got to the publix mile approaching mile 2 and we caught up with the 2:45 pace group. We realized they were doing 2:1 intervals and I breathed a sigh of relief…as in, maybe we can actually keep up with them. (Not so much) MILE 2: is where I hurt my foot on our last training run, so I didn’t have great memories, but I was pain free and feeling strong, so we powered through mile 2 into mile 3 MILE 3: smooth sailing, I knew were coming up on my favorite part of the route, so I was looking forward to that and I still felt strong. We passed hydration station #2 with our awesome BGR sisters cheering us on as we approached mile 4. (Don’t stop the people are watching…lol) MILE 4-5: I was still feeling good, but was def starting to feel the burn in my calfs a little. I love the Edgewood to Eulid stretch, we incorporate that stretch into our regular runs, so I was looking forward to that part, but then all of a sudden, we veer off of Edgewood, go around my fav part and then turn back onto Euclid, just in time to approach mile 5 and climb the filthy Gu stained streets of little 5. But I just go with it. At this point, I was a little tired and ready for mile 6, my running partner and I had a plan, we run 6, walk 5 minutes, run 3, walk 5 mins, and then run the rest. I was ready for the walking part. Although I had slowed down a little, I pushed through to the mile 6 marker and then promptly slowed to a walk. More like a crawl, but I was still moving. MILE 6: J was keeping track of time and pace since my pacer was out of wack. “We aren’t going to make 2:45” She yelled behind her in my direction. Me: Who cares? I just want to finish. She counts down and it is time for us to run again. At this point, I have sucked down about a pack and a half of shot blocks… mistake #1. I know the North Ave hill is coming up right before mile 7 and I am worried. I try to tell my legs to power up the hill and not break pace, but they don’t listen and I stop to walk. (That is not part of the plan!) I get to the top of the hill and pass mile marker 7… Wooo Hooo, half way there! MILE 7-9: I’m super high on shot blocks and start to run again and I fall into step with a BGR girl. We hit a comfortable pace and mile 8 and mile 9 fly by and I am feeling strong (and still high). MILE 9: Time to stop and walk again… and thank you baby Jesus, because my left calf is KILLING ME. I move over to the side and stretch again, I regret it because I know I’m going to lose both of my running partners now, but my calf hurts so bad I had to try to shake it off. J waits for me and the rest of the race was a blur. Partially because of my abuse of shot blocks and sheer exhaustion, but there were tears and lots of grunts and moans. (Note to self: for my next half, make sure you follow the training schedule so that you don’t feel like your lungs are going to collapse). J tried to motivate me…. And she did a great job, but my body wasn’t hearing it. MILE 10-12: I struggled from mile 10 to 11 with a couple of walk breaks in between, and when we finally got to mile 12, I felt like I was going to fall out right there. MILE 13: Why am I doing this? This is sooooooooo dumb! I picked up my feet and dragged my legs, old man- trot style and I got to the sign that said ¾ of a mile… WHAT?! ¾’s of a mile… that is soooo far! I have to laugh now, but that last little bit just about killed me. I got to the ¼ mile sign and I could see the corner…. Just make it to the corner. I could see J crying already and then she disappeared around the corner, I picked up my speed (at least it felt like it) trying to get through that last tenth of a mile, I saw J coming back for me so we could cross together and I saw our friends screaming at the finish line and that made me smile sooooo hard. J and I held hands a hauled our tired asses across the finish line. I DID IT! I finished! 3:03:11… that is my time to beat next time. I was so freaking happy to be done and so proud of myself for doing it. I got my medal, someone slapped a cold wet towel in my hands and that was that. 13.1… done :-)

• J and I are still living happily ever after.
• I started working out hardcore 6 days a week and watching portion sizes and I have lost 5 pounds so far. 
• I'm on vacation out of the country visiting my family, so my goal is not to gain any of the weight back. And then go into attack mode the moment I get back home.
• I'm gonna be 30 in 64 days.... 64 days.

What can you say after that?

xoxo,

Marathon Relay Bling

First Marathon Relay is done. It was awesome! It was freezing and my 3 miles was incredibly hilly... but it was awesome. My first Half Mary is coming up very soon... mid march. I'm a nervous wreck 13.1 is looking reallllllllly far right about now. The furthest I've run so far is 8 miles.... only 5.1 left. Yikes. I will keep you all posted!

xoxo,
 

Hell is freezing over....plus some money stuff

Hell is freezing over... Because I am posting twice in one day!

lol... yes, I know-- I'm a dork

Anywho, I wanted to take the time to update my financial info on my right side bar.

Here's a quick run down:

Emergency Fund: is still in place, in a 'hands off' bank account. Bad news is I haven't contributed to it in some time, but I am earning a few bucks in interest.

Other Savings: account is  constantly up and down, but I try really hard to keep at least at $1000 and as things come up I try to save for them. Hence few hundred dollars over my $1000 minimum. They goal is to have a steady $2000, but I've had a hard time keeping that up. I'm hoping to bump in up after my big fat tax return check.

Fully Funded Emergency Fund: isn't in my plans to happen until I am debt free, well at least outside of student loans.

Our Wedding Fund: this poor account has seen no love.... well other than withdrawals. With J out of work the money we started saving for our wedding started to be used for necessities like incredibly high power bills and ridiculous traffic tickets.

On to the debt...

AMEX: I have no excuse for myself. Long story short, I ran this card back up. And as always, I have nothing to show for it... other than the bill. The plan to is knock this out when I get my tax refund and put the card in the freezer so I won't be tempted to swipe.

MBNA: Remember this is the 0% interest card that I used to transfer a big lump some from my personal loan.This card honestly should have bee paid off by now (had I not run the AMEX back up) But as the other, I will pay this one off with a lump sum I will get back from taxes. Just in time before the 0% deal ends.

Personal Loan: My next payment will bring me under $10,000! Yesssss!! I have just been paying the minimum on this as I try to attack the other two (unsuccessfully, but still in the works.) Once I get the other 2 knocked out I will work on stacking on the payments to get this one gone as well.

Overall, I am doing better than I was doing when I started this blog. I started out with about $25,000 in debt and my current balance now (outside of my student loan debt) is $16,492.04. Seems like that number should be lower, but I will take it.


By my birthday in 143 days, my goal is to be down to: $9,000. Which I think is completely realistic. The only reason I'm not being even more aggressive is because I want to save some money for an engagement ring. I'm going to have to start a new secret blog to talk about that. :-)


Not to get completely off subject, but it's funny. I was so angry at J last night and this morning. Like really angry. I didn't post the details, but I was angry to the point that I realized the honeymoon is definitely over (we have honeymoon moments, but the actual 'vacay' is so over.) But after talking to her this morning and sharing my anger, internal battles and issues and watching her listen and really SEE me, I realized what we have is irreplaceable and as angry as I was, us talking about made it go away.... and I still want to marry her, like really wanna marry her. lol.. Isn't that funny? Our relationship isn't perfect, in fact it has been pretty fucking hard from time to time, but we are both so invested, so vulnerable and so willing to communicate, that even in rage we can figure it out. Relationships take work and effort and honesty... I guess a part of me is a little afraid that this relationship will crash and burn just like the last one, but what I am learning is, I am a work in progress and I have to make a conscious effort to not loose myself and that part is just as important as communication with her and putting forth effort.


Ok... that's it. That's all I got. See you soon.


P.S. Feel free to click on the donate button on the top left of the page and show me a little bit of love... or a lotta bit, your call. :-) Thanks a million!

xoxo,

Definitely still obese...

Ok. Today was my first WW weigh-in.

220 pounds

That means I lost .2 pounds.

.2 pounds.

(point) 2 fucking pounds.

J lost 2.8 pounds.

Do I need to say how angry I am?

I lived that fucking plan all week long. To the T... well, until Friday night, which is a mistake. But still. I lived the plan. I did everything. and I worked out. and I lost .2 pounds.

So note to self: don't eat at all (like nothing) and spend 2-3 hours at the gym doing hardcore cardio. Then you might loose 2 or 3 pounds. This is bullshit.

No I am not giving up. But I need to figure out a way to not obsess over everything and just eat healthy and get really good workouts in. Why does it feel so hard this time.

fml

blah.

If I don't lose 5 pounds by next Saturday's weigh-in I'm going to start puking after my meals and spending the night at the gym.

Joking.

But seriously, I must get my shit together asap. I refuse to be fat and 30.



xoxo,

I'm obese

Yes, that is is right. I am obese.

I'm back on Weight Watchers. I literally just rejoined 5 minutes ago. During the process of signing up online I had to put in my height and weight information and out popped my BMI info.... and taaadaaa.... I'm a fat little piggy, or just plain old obese.

This weight battle is a royal pain in my ass. Weight Watchers has worked in the past, so I am going to give it a try again. The last time I weighed myself  I was 217lbs (also know as OBESE....ggrrrr). Can you believe that back in May of 2010 I was at 168lbs?

That is 49 lbs.

I must do it this time and KEEP IT OFF FOREVER.

I have to.

I will be 30 in 152 days. Simple enough right?

My first Weight Watchers meeting is this Saturday, so lets round it up....my goal is to loose 50 pounds in 150 days.

50 pounds in 150 days.

If you've got any words of advice.... I'll take it. Pray for me guys. I will try to be better about keeping you guys posted along the way.

First things first... get my obese ass to a meeting.


xoxo,
 

Wedding dresses, marathons and getting older...

Hello again!!

Sooooo.... remember that wedding dress I was dying to try on? It looked horrible. I never considered myself very tall....but the the dress hit my ankles. Ridiculousness.

I've tried on a few more since then,  but no "OMG I NEED THIS DRESS" moments quite yet. I'll get more serious as we get closer, but first things first, we have to make it official and get engaged. Now just to get the money to buy it....

Ugh.

That is a whole other story. Money. J isn't working, she is however getting unemployment and still has a nice chunk of change in savings. But I'm a little scared. What if when the money runs out she still isn't working? We'll be a 1 income household and that means money will be tight... which also means spending 2 grand on a ring is out of the question... at least until there is some stability. I have faith in her and her skills and her motivation.... and the universe of course and I know that everything will workout perfectly and we'll have all the money we need plus some.

The next update..... since weight loss is always a struggle for me, J had the idea that I focus on a goal instead of pounds lost. Sooooooo we both signed up for a half marathon. 13.1 miles. Why? Why would you want to run for 13 straight miles?? lol! Why not!? I've ran for years, but never long distances. I ran 5 miles for the first time ever this past week... it feels amazing, so I'm going to keep running. The weight will come off.

And what a perfect time to do this..... 30 is coming up hard and fast and I'm going to be in the best shape of my life. Promise.



xoxo,

Looks like I'm a once a monther...

I just wanted to say hi... and I missed you guys, it's been almost a month again. I haven't forgotten you... just caught up in other things.

J and I have been living together for almost 2 months and things are going great... I couldn't be happier.

G will be here in about a month and a half and I can't wait to see her! It's been a whole year almost.

I think I'm going to drag her wedding dress shopping during her visit. :-)

Yep, wedding dress shopping.

Here's what I am envisioning...

*sigh* soooo pretty!


On a completely different note, I'm a little bit torn because my good friend M.... remember her? Part of the 'Angel's'... well she has fallen off the face of the planet. She's never been good at keeping in touch, but there was a point in time when she would at least respond to an email. Now.... nothing. At first I was concerned... maybe something is going one. They just got married, maybe that are trying for kids, or maybe there is stress at work... I dunno. But regardless, she hasn't responded to one email. Her wife responds, but she doesn't. Did I do something? I just thought we were closer than that. What do you do in this situation?? I'm sure I'll see her when G is in town over the holidays, but do I even say anything?? Let me know your thoughts.

See you in about a month... hopefully I can make it sooner. :-)

xoxo,

Bff forever and ever...

I had to share this... a FB note from G...made me smile today.

"remember when you threw a chair at me because I wanted to fight and you wanted to walk away? Or when we got in an argument over adding a champagne bottle sticker to a baby book? Or when you bought me a pack of huge granny panties after my surgery? Or when my devil cat chewed a whole in your sweater? Or when you allowed me to be a "tomboy" for a few months as you did my girlfriends eye makeup? Or when we had a dance party in pumps and fishnets for my birthday because it was a snow storm? Or when you fell off the toilet in the pool bathroom at your 25th- wait you wouldn't remember that! or when I tried to get E to sleep with us? (hold up , was that you?) :) I miss youuuuuu. I can't wait to see you."

She'll be here in 2 months... can't wait to see here. Nothing like a best friend.


xoxo,